Page 266 of The Art of Almost Losing It
Piper shoves through the Girl Squad. “Fuck off, Colette. You don’t know what’s going on. Graham didn’t dump Dani. He loves her.”
Gosh, Piper always has my back. Even when I don’t deserve it.
“You don’t have to lie for me, Piper.” My throat is closing up with sorrow. “Yes, Graham did dump me. His brother said he’s gone. They don’t know where.”
“He ran away from you!” Colette is triumphant. “You were so weird and clingy with him—it’s no wonder the poor man skipped town to get away from you.”
My lower lip trembles. “You’re right. I ran him off. He was the only guy I ever had any sort of chance with, and now he’s gone, and I don’t know where he is.” I wipe my nose. “He could be hurt. He could be kidnapped.”
“He’s not kidnapped—he’s hiding from you,” Colette snaps.
Now we have the attention of the whole rehearsal dinner.
My mother’s glaring at me. I can practically feel her beaming orders at me.
Stop making a scene.Be the good hostess.AKA cave and give Colette whatever she wants.
Not this time.
“Yeah.” I raise my voice. “You’re right. I was a bad girlfriend. But you know what?” I clench my fists. “A big part of that was because I was trying to be a good friend to you—because I was doing what you want, what I thought would make you like me. I was trying to show you that I was just like you, that I deserved to be in your friend group, that I was worthy of your friendship because I had a boyfriend. So I dragged him around to stuff he didn’t want to do just so I could show off that I was desirable to a man—and therefore good enough to be your friend.”
Now I’m messy-crying.
“And it didn’t even matter. That’s the stupid thing. I was mean to Piper, who is one of the few people in this room who actually cares about me. I sacrificed my work success, my family, and my self-esteem, and now my relationship with Graham—to make sure that you had a nice wedding, that you were comfortable, that you were catered to. And the worst part is, you were never grateful. You never said, ‘Hey, Dani, thanks for being my friend. I really appreciate your love and support.’ Instead, you treat me like a servant.”
Colette just rolls her eyes.
“Graham never could stand you.” I sniffle. “I should have listened to him. Especially since you turned around and stabbed me in the back on national television… maybe if I’d manned up and cut you off when I should have, he’d still be around.”
My mom is hissing at my brother to “Go stop her—do something.”
“Seriously, Mom?” I shriek at her. “I’m the problem here?”
“Yes, Dani, you’re making a scene.” Mom is horrified. “Jeremy, go get your sister.”
“Jeremy’s not going to do anything,” I scoff. “Jeremy doesn’t even do his own laundry.”
“Oh no,” Jeremy says, coming up to stand next to me. “I’m going to do something, actually.”
“If you think I’m going to listen to what you have to say, you are sorely mistaken!” I holler at my brother.
But he’s ignoring me and turning on Colette.
“You drove off Graham on purpose.”
“Uh, no.” Colette is incredulous. “I didn’t do that. That was Dani with her nonsense.”
“Dani knows better than to make people look bad,” Jeremy snaps. “We’re about to be married—we have to be a team. And you’re messing with my livelihood.”
“What livelihood?” Colette sneers. “You don’t work. You’re incompetent. You’re going to be living off my hard work and my money. You’re ‘working’”—she makes air quotes—“because your dad got you that job. You and Dani are two peas in a useless pod.”
“I’m not useless!” my brother shouts.
“Dani.” Colette snaps her fingers at me. “This rehearsal dinner is a disaster, and we’re not even done with cocktail hour. Fix it.”
“We’re not done talking.” Jeremy jumps between me and Colette.
“Oh yes we are.” Colette wags a finger at him.
