Page 34 of Fatal Conspiracy

“Yes, Selina,” she said with a smirk that he probably couldn’t see. “Sorry to have disturbed you. I’ll try to keep it down out here.”

He sat next to her on the sofa bed and took her hand. “I have a better idea. Why don’t we share my bed? This one can’t be all that comfortable.”

Her laughter was more nervous than amused when it fell from her lips. “I’ve slept on better mattresses, and it’s sweet of you to offer, but you shouldn’t have to share. I’d need a stepstool to get up on that bed anyway.”

“If I didn’t want to share, I wouldn’t have offered,” he said, his brow furrowed. “Truthfully, when I said good-night, what I really wanted was you in my bed to hold. I’m not asking for more than that, Alayah. Just the opportunity to hold you and help you get some rest.”

With her heart pounding, she pushed herself up and met his gaze. “As much as I’ve enjoyed our time together, a murder charge hanging over your head notwithstanding, there’s so much about me that you don’t know. None of that information is any easier than what I’ve already told you.”

“And you think that means you don’t deserve to be loved or to find happiness?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I’m tired.” She did know and she could explain it, but she also didn’t want to hurt him by implying that what he thought he was feeling tonight might be completely different come the morning light. He probably wouldn’t like her putting words in his mouth, even if she knew they were true.

“Which brings us back to where we were a few minutes ago. Is it okay if I carry you? I don’t want to hurt you.”

Her head tipped in curiosity. “I can walk, Derek.”

“Maybe, but you need help getting up on the bed, so why not take a ride?”

Heat rose on her cheeks at the thought of being in his arms. When she ducked her head, it was partly to hide her reaction and partly from embarrassment that she couldn’tget on the bed without his help. “It’s fine as long as you don’t expect me to wrap my arms around your neck.” She held up her arms and waved them.

Gently, he grasped her hands and lowered them to his lap. “I know what you’re doing, Alayah, and I understand. It’s hard for you to be intimate without feeling vulnerable, right?”

She lifted her head and nodded. What she saw on his handsome face was eagerness to be what she needed him to be and she wished for the millionth time in her life that she had been born differently. Then she remembered her life would be completely different had she been born without the syndrome. The family she had at Secure Inc. wouldn’t exist, and she wouldn’t have met Derek. Though they’d go their separate ways, she was still blessed to have known him.

“I want you to understand that I respect you and you have full control over what happens from here forward. If you’d rather I carry your stepstool into the bedroom instead of you, I’m happy to do that if it makes you feel more comfortable and in control.”

His offer told her he understood her fears. Maybe it was time to help him understand her desires. “I’d love a ride to bed. Thank you.”

Tenderly, he scooped her up into his chest and cradled her there as he carried her to the bedroom. The bed was king-sized and piled high with pillows. “I might get lost in this bed.”

“Unlikely,” he said, lowering her to the mattress to rest up against the pillows. “Since you’ll be in my arms the entire night, I’ll keep you safe. What’s the best way for you to sleep? I feel like you don’t sleep on your back to avoid compression on your chest.”

Her sharp glance at him revealed his expressionless face as he waited for her to answer. “No one has ever listened to what I say closely enough to come to a conclusion like that, Derek.”

“It’s not hard to listen to someone you care about, Alayah.”

“Most don’t,” she answered with a shrug. “It means the entire world to me that you did, though. It’s a simple thing to you, but for me, it’s…” She made the mind-blown motion with her hands. He took her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles while he waited patiently for her to finish her thought. Heat spiraled through her at his touch, so she cleared her throat to avoid sounding needy. “You’re right. Usually, I sleep elevated, almost sitting up. If I can’t do that, then I sleep on my side with pillows behind me so I don’t fall backward.”

“Easy enough,” he said, propping the pillows along the headboard until there was a ramp of sorts and then leaning into them, pulling her back in the process. Once he had the covers over them, he snugged her into his side with her head on his shoulder. “A perfect fit.” His words were a whisper as he leaned down and brushed his lips across hers in a tender kiss of understanding. “Are you comfortable?”

She nodded, fighting back tears at just how understanding he was and at how perfectly she fit against him. Her eyelids drooped as he rubbed her shoulder, her body refusing to stay awake a moment longer. As she drifted off to sleep, she heard him whisper, “I would be a lucky man to get to hold you like this forever, Alayah Heath.”

A sigh of happiness escaped her lips as she fell into dreamland.

* * *

THE NEXT TIMEshe woke, the room was starting to brighten, which meant a new day had arrived, and she could onlyimagine what would come of it. She should be cataloging everything she had left to do, but now that she’d cleared Cal and Derek, her brain wanted to take a break from all the thinking. It wanted to enjoy being in a warm pair of arms as they cuddled together under the blankets. Since they had hours until their team meeting, she was going to do exactly that. Once she made a trip to the bathroom, that is. As much as she hated to get up and risk waking Derek, she had no choice.

In sleep, he’d loosened his arms, and she was able to slide out of them and to the edge of the bed without waking him. Getting off the bed was another matter, but she managed by sliding over the edge on her belly until her feet touched the floor. Thankfully, her ankle no longer hurt. She would take that as a solid win. She’d still protect it, but if she could avoid using the walker all day, that would be helpful.

Derek seemed to think her reluctance to use the walker stemmed only from embarrassment, but it was also about the pain in her shoulders, elbows and hands from using it all day. That was one of the reasons she’d worked so hard in physical therapy over the years. She didn’t want to use it any more than necessary. It was fine when she was hurt, but she preferred getting around under her own volition the rest of the time. Besides, her physical therapist had emphasized the importance of keeping her muscles strong, so she had a set of weights that she lifted at home. While she couldn’t use most gym equipment, she also had a program for lower leg exercises that kept her limber and strong. Even if it didn’t look that way to the average person.

After using the restroom and brushing her teeth, she snuck a look at the clock on the way past to see it was almost 6:00 a.m. They could spend at least another two hoursin bed before they had to think about getting up, and she planned to enjoy every second of it. They’d only been asleep for about three hours, but she felt rested and ready to go for the day. That was likely because her body was used to short stints of sleep when working time-sensitive jobs at Secure Watch. Once the job was finished, she’d pass out and sleep for twelve or sixteen hours and then be ready to start all over again. She’d learned over the years that many coders and cybersecurity people had sleep issues. Their brains didn’t want to shut down when struggling with a complex problem that needed fixing. Especially if the case involved someone’s personal or business safety. She often worried that stepping away for a few hours to rest could be the reason a case fell apart. Last night, she’d needed sleep and though the job wasn’t over, at least she’d be able to attack it today with renewed vigor.

“Hey,” Derek said, making her jump as she approached the bedroom door. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was using the other bathroom.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” she said with a frown, but he shook his head and motioned her to the bed.