Page 206 of Elemental Becoming

His voice follows a moment later, quiet and ruined, softer than I have ever heard it.

“Told you . . . you couldn’t handle me losing control.”

A breathless laugh escapes me.

“Your confidence is truly astounding.”

He huffs out a quiet chuckle before going still. When he speaks again, the teasing is gone.

“Are you sure you’re okay? The shadows—I didn’t know that would happen. I didn’t know they could . . . ”

The words trail off and I feel the tension return in his grip. Turning my head, I meet his eyes. Fear stares back at me. Guilt, too. Beneath it all is the echo of something he has spent years trying to bury.

“I’m not afraid of your shadows, Thane,” I say quietly.

“You should be,” he murmurs.

“No.” I shake my head. “They didn’t seem dark to me. They seemed like you.”

He blinks, and I see the war inside him—the need to protect me from the part of himself he still doesn’t trust. I press my forehead to his and let my voice soften.

“They didn’t hurt me. They wrapped around us like they were part of the bond.”

“I know,” he admits.

Then, so quietly I almost miss it, he says, “It’s all so new.”

His gaze drops to where our fingers remain intertwined.

“We spent our entire lives being told the Shadow Element was dangerous and corrupt. Something to lock down and keep under control.” He swallows. “Now every time I touch it, it feels less like a curse and more like . . . a part of me.”

The confession seems to cost him.

“I don’t know what to do with that.”

I study him, the way his eyes flicker between guilt and wonder, the way uncertainty sits so strangely on a man who always seems certain of everything else.

He exhales, the sound rough around the edges. “I don’t think I can lose control like that again.”

My brows pull together in protest, but I let him speak.

“I don’t know what the Shadow Element will do next time. What I’ll do.” His jaw flexes. “Even with your powers, there are stories. Records. People who came before. Maybe not exactly like you, but enough to understand the boundaries. And the Elements you wield are known.”

He falls silent for a moment.

“But this?” His voice drops. “I have nothing to compare it to. No one to learn from. No way of knowing where the line is until I cross it.”

Fear flickers across his face before he can hide it.

“I’m making this up as I go, Amara.”

I shift closer and press my hand to his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath my palm.

“You didn’t lose control, Thane,” I say softly. “You let go. There’s a difference.”

But he doesn’t look convinced.

“Amara,” he says, brushing a hand through my hair. His voice is gentler now, but there is distance in it. “We have to be careful. I can’t let go like that again. When I’m in control, I can stop them from acting. I can keep them contained. But that?” He shakes his head. “That wasn’t wielding. It was release. And I don’t know what they’re capable of when I stop holding the reins.”