Page 32 of Four of Hearts

Harry was drunk, tired, stressed, confused, and worst of all, still dressed as King Arthur. He’d had weirder evenings he was sure, he just couldn’t think of one.

‘Why’ve you never mentioned this before?’ he asked, sitting up beside Dave as they bounced along the narrow, winding road from the Tan Hill Inn towards Reeth, in the minibus they’d hired.

‘You never asked.’

‘At what point would I?’

‘Exactly.’

Well, that answer made no sense, Harry thought.

‘So, you’ve an old school friend, this Smithy you were talking to, who’s on the training staff at Catterick Garrison?’

‘I have. I know a few others there, too. Smithy’s the one for tonight, though, I think. Him and his mates, they’ll be right up for this, that’s for sure.’

Dave swung the minibus round a corner as everyone started another raucous chorus ofKnights of the Round Tablefrom Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail.

‘Back to what it is you’ve asked him to do,’ Harry said, trying to get his head around what was going on, fully aware that hewas very much not in control of a situation he really needed to be. ‘We can’t go getting people in danger, Dave. You know that.’

Dave laughed.

‘Danger? Well, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Not for Smithy and his pals, anyway.’

‘Can’t say that makes me feel any better about any of this,’ Harry muttered.

‘They’re just going to set up a road block, that’s all,’ Dave explained. ‘All military, like. It’ll be very convincing.’

‘A military road block?’

This was going from bad to worse, thought Harry. If anyone found out that a bunch of soldiers were now volunteering to get involved with whatever the hell this was, then...

‘...and a Pinzgauer, that should just about do it, don’t you think?’

‘What was that?’ Harry asked, having zoned out for a moment.

‘The road block,’ said Dave. ‘It’ll be a couple of old Defenders I’m guessing, and one of those Pinzgauer things. Always fancied one of those myself, especially the six-wheeled version.’

Harry wasn’t at all surprised by that last comment, coming as it was from a man who owned a snowmobile, and had kept that to himself, too, until it had been very much needed last Christmas.

He was despairing now, though, feeling like events were running away from him and there was nothing he could do to stop them. He then imagined what Detective Superintendent Alice Firbank would say, if she found out that the military had volunteered to head off a kidnapping while King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table rode to the rescue in a hired minibus. He decided it was best to not dwell on that quite yet.

‘You have to stop this, Dave,’ he said, then he turned round to speak to everyone in the back of the minibus. ‘Please, right now.All of us. Dave can take me. I’ll sort this out. The rest of you? It’s a big no.’

The minibus kept rolling on. Harry thought he might never get drunk again. He checked his phone, saw the location marker flashing back at him. Then his crown slipped from his head over his eyes, and he had to wonder how and why he was still wearing it. He ripped it off, threw it over his shoulder. Then a hand appeared at the side of his head, holding it.

‘You’ll need this,’ said Jadyn. ‘Can’t be a king without it, can you?’

Harry took the crown, somewhat begrudgingly.

‘Needs to go on your head, Harry,’ called Ethan from somewhere behind Jadyn.

‘Where are they now?’ Matt asked.

‘Still on that same road,’ said Harry.

Dave’s phone buzzed on the dashboard.

‘Grab that, it’s probably Smithy,’ he said, and told Harry the code to unlock it. ‘Check the messages.’