Page 65 of Below the Deck

No. Telling Eleni – tellinganyone– would mean bringing her hidden self in front of the harsh jury of the world, and Talia couldn’t do that. And so she’d jumped, instead, on what she’d found out about Sam’s blackmail. If Eleni had wondered whether Talia was hiding something else, she hadn’t mentioned it.

Thank God I didn’t tell her.At least now, she still had one last chance to get herself out of this mess without anyone else discovering it. ‘You can do this,’ she whispered to herself. ‘You have to.’

Talia reached for the door, her hand shaking as she pulled it open slowly, inch by inch.

There he was – tall and solid, lips parted and eyes full of desire for her, leaning against the door frame, head cocked to one side. Heady with anticipation. Expectant.

‘Nick,’ she said.

Talia waited for him to speak, the man who’d been the sole focus of her thoughts, her feelings, these last few months. She couldn’t bring herself to say what she needed to. But he wasn’ttalking, either. He was just staring at her, his pupils so large that his eyes were jet-black.

He stepped towards her, reached for her face with his hands, began to lean down to meet her lips with his, and it came rushing back, the desire, wanting it – wantinghim– so desperately, so urgently, in that moment that she thought she might falter.Perhaps just one last time.And then I’ll end it, right after …

No.‘No.’ She put a hand to his chest and pushed him gently away from her. The firmness in both her voice and her gesture took them both aback. Nick jerked backwards and narrowed his eyes.

‘What? Why not?’ He came closer to her again. ‘There’s no one around – Eleni’s upstairs, Rory’s out of it … I was waiting for you to get back here, watching through the peephole in my cabin … we’ve got a few minutes to ourselves.’ He reached for her again. ‘Come here.’

Talia took a step back, putting more distance between their bodies – she couldn’t trust her own not to respond if he stayed this close to her. But she had to hold firm, to stay strong.

‘Nick, this has to stop. I can’t –wecan’t do this any more.’

He frowned, gave a short bark of a laugh. ‘What? Talia, you need to stop overthinking this. We’re just two people with some insane chemistry enjoying each other’s company. We’re not doing any harm – no one’s found out, have they? No one’s getting hurt.’

Again, he moved towards her. Again, she stepped back.

‘I mean it,’ she said. ‘I’m serious – I can’t do it any more. And actually, someonehasfound out. I think the crew saw us, and Sam knows about us somehow – maybe he caught us thatnight in the salon. And we might not have hurt anyone else – yet – but this is hurtingme!’

There was a tense pause. Talia watched Nick carefully, saw his expression darken – the desire in his eyes was gone suddenly, and replaced by something cold – something frightening.

‘Hurtingyou?’ When Nick finally spoke again, his voice was a low snarl, his lips pulled back into a cruel sneer. ‘And how exactly did you come to that conclusion? I’ve givenyou– washed-up, lonely, menopausalyou– the time of your life this year. I’m pretty sure I never heard you say a single word about how badly you werehurtingwhen you were tearing my clothes off, or giving me some pretty average head.’

Talia’s hand flew to her mouth; she thought she might throw up with the shock of his words. She’d never seen or heard him speak to her – speak toanyone– like this. What had happened to the admiring, affectionate man she’d given herself to these last months? This was someone cold; someone cruel. This was a completely different person.

‘I didn’t realize that’s how you felt,’ she said icily. Raising a trembling finger, she pointed to the door. ‘But in that case, it all seems even clearer. This is finished, and you should leave now. It has all been a terrible mistake, and I’m sorry it ever started. Please – just go – back to your beautiful, lovely wife, who never deserved any of this – and let’s forget it ever happened.’

As quickly as the callous version of him had appeared, it vanished again, replaced now by the Nick that Talia knew: tender, heartfelt, affectionate. ‘Oh God, Talia. I shouldn’t have said that – I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry.’ He’d seemed to revert back to his usual self with as much ease as if he’d just slippedon a mask. Talia reeled, the switch was so fast, so unnerving. ‘You just gave me a shock, that’s all.’ His voice was all softness again, all tenderness.

‘Our time together – me and you – it’s meant a lot to me. And listen, I know we always said—’ He broke off for a second, his eyes damp and glistening.Is he going to cry? Does he really feel that much for me?‘I know we said we wouldn’t get too attached – wouldn’t let our feelings get involved. But I can’t lie to you – I’m falling for you. I have been for a while, I think. I don’t even love Eleni any more – things aren’t good between us, honestly, not since last year.’ He sighed heavily. ‘There. I’ve said it. I’m in love with you, Talia. So, do you understand now why I didn’t take you wanting to end things too well?’

He gave her a bashful smile; Talia looked away. ‘I get it,’ he continued. ‘Sam finding out – that must have given you a scare. But don’t worry, honestly. I can deal with him.’

She took another step backwards, then dropped down on the edge of the bed without thinking; all the fight had left her suddenly, so dizzying and confusing were Nick’s abrupt changes in personality. ‘Please,’ she whispered. ‘Please don’t make this harder than it already is. I care about you, and our time together has been special to me too, but it has to end. Here – now. It’s over, Nick. I’m sorry, but we’re done. You can work things out with Eleni, I’m sure – you’ve got two young children, and she’s a wonderful young woman …’

Her words fizzled out; Nick said nothing. He stood in front of her, staring at her for a long moment, his features shifting from sadness to anger to confusion to shock, then finally settling in the unpleasant snarl he’d showed her a moment ago.

A creeping sense of dread moved up Talia’s spine, grippedat her throat. She was alone in a cabin with this man, in the semi-darkness – this large, well-built, strong man – with the door closed and no one nearby; her husband incapacitated elsewhere. She’d been alone with Nick many times before, and she’d never been afraid of him. But how well did she know him, really? What if she’d got him wrong? If something happened here, now – if he tried to hurt her …

Why isn’t he moving?

‘You need to leave,’ she tried again. Her voice emerged in a grating rasp, betraying her fear.

‘I don’t think so. Not until we’ve sorted this out.’ He spoke softly, but his eyes were sharp shards of ice. ‘I told you I was sorry. Didn’t you hear me say that? I didn’t mean what I said before. I don’t want this to be over. And however scared you are, whatever you’re saying now, I know you don’t either.’

He took another step towards her, stood towering above her now as she sat frozen on the edge of the bed. Then, in one sleek, measured movement, he sat down next to her and pulled her towards him, gripping both sides of her face in his hands. The gesture was tender, and yet Talia’s body pulsed with fear.

What will he do if I try to move away?She swallowed and stayed still.

‘Do you want me to leave Eleni? Is that it?’ One of Nick’s hands moved lower as he spoke, down to her chin, then her neck. ‘Is it seeing us together, here? Did it make you jealous? I’d do it, if that’s what you want. I’d end my marriage. I don’t love her.’