Page 30 of Below the Deck

‘Ah, I’ll live, apparently.’ Nick shrugged. ‘No concussion. Just a sore head, not that I didn’t have one of those already.’

Eleni rolled her eyes. ‘What happened out there? It looked painful, that landing.’

Nick frowned. ‘Rory was driving like a complete fucking maniac. I lost my grip.’

‘He’s an idiot. I’m sorry.’ Eleni shifted her gaze towards the windows, watched the endless sea roll gently past the yacht.

‘Areyouokay?’ Nick asked. He was watching her intently.

‘Oh, I’m fine,’ she said. ‘Just a bit unsettled by what happened to you, I suppose. But everything’s good, I promise. Listen, I’ll let you get some rest this afternoon. I need you back on form in time for the James Bond party tonight.’

Eleni kissed him goodbye and checked the time on her phone as she made her way downstairs. Damn. She was desperate to see the boys’ faces, and talk to her sister, but it was the middle of the night back home. Still, while she had a few moments alone, she could check in with a voice note. She’d go down to her cabin for some privacy.

As she approached the dim lower passageway at the bottom of the stairs, she shivered and tried to brush off the sudden, irrational sense of foreboding.Stop it.There was nothing amiss down here; nothing to provoke her senses into alarm. Everything was fine; normal. As it should be.I’m upset by what happened to Nick. And it’s dark and quiet down here. It’s just the contrast with how bright and loud it is everywhere else.

Still, she stepped cautiously into the corridor and breathed in relief as the sensors picked her up and the overhead lights flickered on. She unlocked the cabin door, stepped inside and let the door fall closed behind her with its soft, expensiveclick, and felt lighter.

I think I’m getting better at spending time on my own.She didn’t mind that her day-to-day life involved so much time around other people: her children and her work were her sources of joy. She could spend days at a time with the kids in the summer holidays or over Christmas and somehow never end up feeling suffocated or smothered, in the way other mums described. She enjoyed being around them; preferred it, actually, to being alone.

It was different on this boat, though. The seven of them – plus the crew – all together in such close quarters; it was claustrophobic, even with the time they’d had off theLusso. She needed these brief moments on her own to ground herself again. She could get some thinking time, try to make sure everything was moving forward with her ambitions to get closer to Rory and Talia. She’d not made enough progress yet, but there had been interruptions: the tension last night between Mark and Rory, Talia’s continual snubbing of her, and now Nick’s accident. She still had time, though. There would be more meals, more wine, more cocktails: plenty of time to let their inhibitions drop, to get closer to each other …

Eleni settled on the chair next to the dressing table, her eyes landing briefly on her laptop, which sat in its case on the floor near her feet. She shouldn’t have brought it, really. She needed the break, and everything would be ticking along fine without her.

But the truth was, she loved her job. The treasure hunt for potential sites and the excitement when she discovered one; negotiations with landowners and investors, even tricky ones. Property and buildings were in her blood: her dad had been an architect, and her most precious memories as a child were accompanying him on site visits, wearing the miniature hard hat and safety glasses he’d bought her, holding his hand and gazing at the buildings in wonder.

Eleni took her phone out of her bag and opened WhatsApp, then scrolled down to find Mariana’s latest chat. Her sister had just changed her profile picture on the app; Eleni clicked to enlarge it, and the faces of her sister and her two boys filled the screen, her mum’s kitchen table with remnants of dinnerand schoolbooks and toys scattered on its surface behind them. Her heart squeezed.

She closed the picture back down and tapped the microphone, then started speaking quietly into her phone.

‘Hey, Maz. Love the new profile pic! How are you all? I’m missing the boys so much – and you and Mum, of course. I hope they’ve been all right and you’re managing okay.’ She paused to take a deep breath. ‘And I was wondering whether … if everythingelseis going okay? Could you give me a quick update when you’re awake?’ Eleni dropped her voice lower. ‘I know you keep saying not to worry, but I can’t help it. It’s impossible …’ Tears filled Eleni’s eyes; she blinked them away and sniffed. ‘Sorry, you know what I’m like, too bloody emotional! But I’m fine. Everything’s going okay here.’

She hit send, hoping there’d be enough 4G coverage for the message to make it through without Wi-Fi, then dropped her phone on the dressing table and sat back in the chair. It was a shame she hadn’t managed to FaceTime when the boys were awake; when she’d actually get to see them. They’d be missing her – and Nick, too, no doubt. Lucas, in particular, adored his dad – especially his rough tickles, and the way Nick turned him upside down until he screamed with laughter and begged to be upright again. Eleni closed her eyes briefly at the memory: the sound of Lucas’s giggles; the scent of freshly baked bread that seemed to cling to Theo’s hair …

Feeling restless now, she stood and walked over to the bed – just as a familiar, cold sensation crawled down her spine; the tiny hairs on her arms rising up in unison …

I’m not alone.

The voice sounded so sure, so confident, in her mind. Asthough she knew it with absolute certainty.I’m not alone?Where did that even come from?Irrationally, driven by pure instinct, Eleni whipped her head around the room and saw no one.

Then, feeling like a child checking for imaginary monsters in her wardrobe before she went to sleep, she got down on her hands and knees and looked under the bed: nothing. She stood up and walked to the cupboard facing the bed, took a deep breath and swung the doors open: just their clothes sitting neatly on hangers.

Still not satisfied, she stepped towards the closed door to the en-suite, turned the handle – her hands shaking slightly – and swung open the door.

Walk-in shower. Wet room floor. Double sink. Loo. The bathroom was empty.

I’m being ridiculous.She sat back on the bed. Still, that sensation though. Eyes on her. Either this cabin was haunted – an idea so preposterous, Eleni wouldn’t give it credence; she didn’t believe in ghosts any more than she believed in Father Christmas, no matter what she promised the boys every December – or someone was covertly keeping tabs on her, without her permission.

This gut feeling was all too familiar. She’d lived with it ever since her adolescent body had begun to develop. She’d spent decades being subjected to other people’s gazes – men’s, mostly. Yes, she was getting older, and she looked knackered most of the time – but still. Like most women, she couldn’t walk down a busy street without being noticed; she couldn’t relax alone at a bar for more than a few minutes before a stranger made his approach. Even at work – even in a boardroom full ofarchitects and compliance officers – she felt their eyes linger too long when she’d finished speaking.

She held her breath now and listened.What was that?That buzzing again. Had she actually heard it, or was it in her head? She could hardly tell now, thanks to how loudly her heart was banging against her ribcage. She forced it to slow: all was quiet. All was still.

The feeling passed.No one’s watching me.She shook her head, exasperated with herself, then picked her phone up from the dressing table to check the time. They’d soon be off for their tour of Huahine – exploring on e-bikes, if she remembered right. Perhaps she could still take a couple of minutes now, to just breathe. Breathe and remember what she was doing here, and why.

Her gaze drifted to the doorway, and her heart pumped more quickly again – that was one place she hadn’t checked.

Is there someone on the other side, looking in?

She got up, walked over and lifted the rim of the peephole – where a pair of eyes were staring back at her.