Page 45 of My Weakness

“And that’s one of the many things that makes her the wonderful person she is.” I smile at her words before my gaze finds my girl again. I’m not able to look away for long, she’s far too mesmerizing.

“You should go and join her; the kids would love to have you play the games.”

“I will,” I murmur.

And I will, but right now I’m content just watching.

***

I’m sweating.

Christ, these kids have run me ragged, especially a little brown-haired girl with pigtails by the name of Paisley.

“Again, Mr River, again,” she squeals as I collapse in the sand.

I’ve jumped in the bounce house, kicked a ball around in a miniature soccer game, and chased them around with a water gun for the past few hours; I don’t think I can manage another step.

“Give me a minute, Pais,” I wheeze. “I just need to catch my breath.”

“Kids.” My girl calls from a short distance away. “The ice cream truck is here. Why don’t you all get a cone and go sit under the tent in the shade.” Her words are met with shrieks of excitement as every child charges towards their sweet, cold treat.

“Here.”

I open my eyes to find her standing above me and holding out a vanilla cone. “You’re an angel,” I breathe as I sit up and pat the sand next to me. She sits down and leans her head on my shoulder as she licks her own pistachio cone.

“Thank you for today, the kids have loved having you here.”

“It’s been my pleasure, baby. They’re good kids.”

“They are,” she whispers. “Do you want children?”

“With you? Yes, I want everything with you. But I don’t want children for at least five years.”

“Five years? Why?”

“Because for five years I treated you like a piece of shit, I made you hate me. I want five years of loving you, five years with it being just the two of us, where I don’t have to share you withanyone. Five years where you get every single piece of my heart, because when we have kids their needs will come first, and that’s not what I want right now. I just want you.”

Chapter Thirty-two

Ava

Things have changed this week, for me, anyway. I’m starting to realize that River was always where I’ve now found myself — in love.

The house changed things. Yeah, it freaked me out to start with because it made it real, it meant he wasn’t playing a joke on me anymore, he wasn’t about to do a one-eighty and destroy me. But after my chat with the girls, after the week we just spent together and the words he’s constantly saying to me? I can’t deny it anymore. This is real. River loves me.

For some reason I haven’t been able to say the words to him. There’s something holding me back, and I’m not sure what it is or how to get past it, I just know the words won’t leave my lips right now. They can’t, no matter how much I know they’re true.

It’s midmorning on Monday and I’ve just finished a meeting with a potential donor. Their offices are around the corner from River’s and I’ve got time to meet him for a coffee before I need to be back.

Ava: I’m round the corner, you free for coffee?

River: Come up. I’ve got to finish something real quick then I’ll buy you one

Ava: Why don’t I just bring us one up?

River: Because I want to take you out

I shake my head as I make my way towards his offices.My stubborn man.