Page 162 of Heal Me, Love Me

The entire situation would’ve been easier if he didn’t matter to me anymore. I could’ve looked at the contract and signed it without hesitation. But I couldn’t. I cared enough that hearing his voice after six months knocked every coherent thought out of my head for a few seconds. I cared enough that the idea of standing across from him in a cage made me feel sick. I cared enough that I was still standing in my bedroom, replaying every word of our phone call instead of moving on with my day.

My gaze drifted toward the phone on the bed, and I thought of the worst part of the entire conversation.

“There is no us.”

The words hit differently now than when I said them. Maybe that’d been the wrong thing to say. Maybe the words came out harsher than I’d intended, but the truth was, therewasn’tan us anymore. We hadn’t been anusfor months. We were two people living on opposite sides of the country, each trying to figure out what came next for the individual. But Rowan kept talking like I was supposed to prove something to him. As if turning down the fight would somehow rewrite what’d happened between us. But no matter how angry he got, it didn’t change the reality we’d been living with for months.

I dragged a hand across the back of my neck and let out a slow breath. The only thing that pulled my attention away from Rowan was something else he’d mentioned.

Devon.

I’d been too irritated by everything else Rowan and I were arguing about to really consider that Devon had been using both of us. But now that the conversation was over, the accusations kept creeping back into my head.

Why had Devon asked about his weight class? Why was Rowan so sure that question meant something? And why couldn’t I stop thinking about it?

My phone buzzed against the pillow before I could spend any more time considering questions I couldn’t answer. Marcos’s name appeared on the screen.

“Hey,” I answered.

“I managed to sneak away from baseball meetings for a couple of minutes and got some good news,” he said immediately. “Cross signed.”

I knew from our conversation that Rowan was going to, but for some stupid reason, it bothered me that he’d done it so quickly.

“You still there?” Marcos asked when I didn’t respond right away.

“Yeah.”

“Are you ready to make this official?”

I closed my eyes for a moment. This was no longer just a possibility or a discussion; it was actually happening. I thought about what Rowan had said during the call, trying to make me feel as though everything was my fault, and I could feel anger simmering just below the surface.

At Rowan.

At the situation.

At the fact that the biggest opportunity either of us had ever received happened to involve the one person we couldn’t seem to let go of.

“Yeah,” I said finally. “I’m ready.”

“Good.”

Before he could continue, I sat on the edge of the bed and said, “There’s just one thing.”

“What’s up?”

I stared at the wall across from me. “Before we make this official, can you look into something for me?”

It took a few hours,but I finally had answers and, more importantly, a plan.

Walking into Titan, I headed straight for Devon’s office. He looked up from his desk as I pushed his door open and shut it behind me. I expected him to greet me the way he always did, but something in my expression must’ve given me away because he leaned back in his chair and waited for me to speak.

“You pitched the fight,” I growled.

He didn’t pretend not to understand what I was talking about. “I suggested it.”

A short laugh escaped me, even though I found nothing funny about the situation. “You suggested it?”

“Keaton—”