Page 156 of Heal Me, Love Me

“You’re in the same sport, close enough in size, with different managers seeking opportunities: fight slots, rankings, attention, matchups that can advance your careers. Maybe even one against each other someday if the divisions line up.”

For one stupid second, the words were right there: high school, the party, the four years I spent pretending I hated him because it was easier than admitting I still loved him. Los Angeles, Miami, and every time I’d had him close enough to believe we might finally get it right. But saying any of that meant admitting Keaton wasn’tjustmy friend; he was the man I loved, the man I’d lost twice, and the last person I wanted to treat like another career opportunity.

“I’m not explaining him to you.”

Grant accepted that with a small nod. “Then call him.”

I blinked. “What?”

“Call Keaton.”

“I’m sitting here telling you I’m not fighting him, and your solution is for me to call him?”

“My solution is for you to talk to the other person whose name is on the offer.”

“He might not even know yet.”

“Then he should hear it from you.”

“And if he does know?”

“Then you need to find out what he thinks before you make Devon the whole story.”

I looked down at the folder, even though I couldn’t see our names anymore. “You think he’s going to say yes?”

“I have no idea.”

“But you think he should.”

Grant didn’t dodge it. “Professionally? Yes.”

A bitter laugh left me. “Great.”

“Professionally, I think you should too.”

“You’re really going to sit there and tell me to fight him?”

“I’m going to sit here and tell you this is a good opportunity. I’m also going to tell you that if you can’t look across the cage at him andonlysee an opponent, you turn it down.”

“He’s not my opponent.”

“If you take the fight, he is.”

I snatched the folder before I could think too hard about it. “I need a minute.”

Grant nodded. “Take one.”

I walked out of his office and out to the parking lot. For a second, all I could think about was how many miles I’d put between Sacramento and Tampa, only to end up right back where I’d started, emotionally. I still wanted Keaton. I still didn’tknow how to want him without everything else getting in the way.

So, I pulled out my phone.

Keaton’s name was still in my contacts, right where it had been for years, even though I hadn’t spoken to him in half a year. I’d done what I kept telling myself I needed to do and left him alone, even though every part of me wanted one more excuse not to.

My thumb hovered over his name. Then I thought about him sitting somewhere in Sacramento, maybe already looking at the same offer, maybe already finding a way to make peace with it.

That was enough to make me hit call. He answered on the fourth ring.

“Hey.”