Page 119 of Heal Me, Love Me

Rowan must have noticed it, because he immediately loosened his grip on me. “You okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, just a little sore.”

I reluctantly rolled off him and onto my back. He propped himself up on an elbow, his expression serious as he traced a finger along my shoulder.

“I promise I’m good,” I reassured him.

A small smile played on his lips. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss there. “Let’s go shower.”

We climbed off the bed, the stress and disappointment from earlier fading into the background. The future was still waiting for us, but in that moment, nothing else mattered. I was with the man I loved, but he’d be gone too soon.

20

Rowan

Sunday morning camebefore I was ready for it.

My father parked in the airport’s garage instead of dropping me off at Departures, because a curbside goodbye would’ve been faster, and none of us wanted to feel like the weekend was over yet. Keaton barely spoke on the walk into the terminal, but his hand stayed locked with mine the entire time. Dad carried my bag, Mom stayed beside me, and all I could focus on was the security checkpoint getting closer.

My mom stopped first, her hand already reaching for mine as Keaton let go of the other. “Call when you land.”

“I will.”

She nodded, but she didn’t let go. “And you’ll come back for Christmas?”

I’d known one of them was going to ask. Christmas had been sitting in the back of my head all weekend, every time my parents talked about getting the tree out of the garage, every time I woke up next to Keaton, and all the way to the airport.

Missing the holidays wasn’t new. The Air Force had already taught all of us how to get through them with phone calls, pictures, and Mom pretending she wasn’t disappointed that we weren’t together. We knew how to do it. I just hadn’t expected it to feel harder now.

“You know, I wish I could, but by then I’ll be deep in training. Coach Isaac won’t want me flying across the country that close to fight day.”

My mother’s fingers squeezed mine. “I understand.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I guess I thought that since you were out of the Air Force, we’d finally get Christmas under one roof again.”

“I know,” I answered. “I did too.”

She pulled me into a hug. “I hate that you won’t be here, though.”

I hugged her back and spotted Keaton over her shoulder. He stood beside my dad, taking in every word. I wasn’t coming home for Christmas, and he couldn’t promise he’d be ready to come see me by then either. It felt as though the career we were both trying to build was already taking pieces of us, starting with Christmas and continuing through every flight, camp, and fight that would come after.

My mother stepped back, and my father handed me my duffel before drawing me into a hug. “Keep your head where it needs to be.”

“I will.”

His hand pressed against the back of my neck for a second before he let go. “Proud of you, Son.”

“Thanks.”

Mom hugged me again, shorter this time, probably because she knew that if she held on too long, none of us would get out of there with a dry eye. Dad took her hand and moved back with her, giving Keaton and me the last few feet to the TSA line. Ireached for him first, and he stepped into me, wrapping an arm around my waist as I held him carefully. After the last few days, I knew how to hug him without hurting his shoulder. But I hated that leaving had become something else we had to learn to do.

“I don’t want to go,” I admitted.

“I know.”

“I mean it.”