Page 7 of Mac

Kate

Afew days had passed since I found out about my father, and I wasn’t any closer to deciding what I wanted to do. Jonathan didn’t share any words of wisdom about the situation when we’d talked about it, but I did feel like we had made some progress in getting our friendship back on track. We had ended that night watching a movie in my room, where we both fell asleep about fifteen minutes into it.

Even with the uncertainty surrounding my father, the last week had been filled with ease and a sense of contentment. Maybe I didn’t need to mess with that by seeking out a man I knew nothing about. The possibility of being rejected was more than my heart could handle right now.

It was a little after ten, and I’d just finished my shift at the restaurant. I was bone tired, but Jonathan and I had plans for another movie night after I got home from work. I just hoped we could make it past the first scene this time.

When I walked into my room, I was surprised to see Jonathan already reclining on my bed, a bowl of popcorn next to him.

“Hi, there,” I greeted.

“Hey! Glad you’re home. Thought I would go ahead and get everything ready,” he said, stating the obvious.

“Thanks.” I grabbed my pajamas out of the dresser drawer and walked across the hallway to the bathroom so I could wash my face and change.

When I came back into the room, I climbed in the other side of the bed and snuggled under the covers, ready to watch whatever movie he’d selected. When it started playing, I was shocked he’d picked a romantic comedy. Usually, I was subjected to some action flick when it was his turn to pick what we watched.

“This is different.” I elbowed him in the side, laughing at his selection.

“Yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I thought I would change it up a bit.” He was acting a bit strange, almost like he was nervous. I decided to not worry about it and settled in for a relaxing night with my friend.

An hour later, we’d finished the popcorn, so Jonathan moved the bowl over to the bedside table. I snuggled further down into my blankets as my eyes started to feel heavy. I was comfortable and sleepy, but determined to stay awake and finish the movie.

Without warning, Jonathan turned toward me and slammed his lips against mine.

I pushed at his shoulders and turned my head away. “What the hell are you doing?” I growled at him.

“Come on, Katie.” He leaned over the top of me, but I pushed him away once again. “I don’t get it. I’ve given you space, but lately, you’ve been spending all of your free time with me. We fell asleep together almost every night this week. Why are you fighting this?”

I sat up, trying to put more space between us. “We do those things because I thought you were my best friend. We tried this before; it didn’t work.”

“Seriously? I do everything for you!” he said, clearly frustrated. “You’ve put me in the boyfriend role, but I don’t get to reap any of the benefits. I’ve turned down other girls because I figured you just needed some time.” He jumped out of bed and ran his hand over his head. “You’ve been leading me on this whole time.”

I couldn’t contain the shocked gasp that left my mouth. “What are you talking about? I’ve never led you on.”

“Oh, really?” he shot back sarcastically. “You’re always holding my hand, cuddling with me at night. You’re a giant cocktease.” He was starting to shout at me, and I was afraid he was going to wake Louise.

“I think you need to leave my room before either of us say anything else we might regret,” I said as composed as I could manage. For the first time since I’d known Jonathan, he was scaring me.

“Whatever,” he snarled back, and spun around. He, of course, made sure to slam my door as he walked away.

Trembling, I flopped back down on my bed. I wasn’t sure where his outburst had come from. Jonathan had never acted that way toward me before. Calling me a cocktease was ridiculous. I wasn’t acting any differently than I had during the past several years of our friendship. Even if he’d mistaken my acts of friendship as more, he had no right to try anything on me. He was the one person in my life who felt stable, and now that was all gone.

What hurt me the most, though, was when he said he did everything for me. Sure, in the last couple of months, I was the more needy friend in our relationship, but friendships often went through phases where one person needed more support than the other. There had been plenty of times when I was the one helping him. Like when his father decided to leave him and his mother, or the month that I pushed him around in a wheelchair after he had broken both of his legs in a skiing accident. Since when had he expected something in return, when all he should have expected was a friend when he needed one—and vice-versa? It seemed, no matter what, I couldn’t catch a break, and it was starting to wear me down at every level.

As I pulled the covers over me, I couldn’t help but think it was going to be damn hard for our friendship to recover from our argument. Not only was I sad about that, but I also realized I needed to find a new place to live, sooner rather than later. We clearly couldn’t continue living under the same roof. Apparently, I would be spending my day off tomorrow searching ads for rooms to rent. I closed my eyes, recalling my mother’s words of her watching over me. I hoped it was true, and that I actually had someone in my corner, no matter what. Lord knew I needed it.

That night, I had slept so poorly, that when I woke the next morning, I had a pounding headache. The words from my fight with Jonathan were running through my mind, and I was trying to figure out why everything was going horribly wrong. I’d hoped Jonathan would come by this morning to apologize, but judging by the time, he’d already left for work. Same for Louise. At least there wouldn’t be any awkward questions to make things worse.

Maybe it was better he wasn’t here. I could come up with a plan and then talk to him later. I glanced over at my bedside table, the folded up piece of paper catching my eye. Everything suddenly clicked into place.

After I got dressed and had breakfast, I logged on to Louise’s computer and did a general search for “Desert Sinners.” I was relieved to find they really did exist, but, to my unease, I mostly found newspaper articles about their dealings with the law...and they seemed to always be on the wrong side of it. There was no mention of a “Samuel Andersen,” which gave me pause. Even if he wasn’t a part of their organization, though, I figured someone would have heard of him and could point me in the right direction.

As the day wore on, I battled with the pros and cons of my decision; but, deep down, I knew there was no other path for me. Grandma’s death, coupled with the recent development with Jonathan, was exactly the push I needed to go out on my own and find what would make me happy.

After lunch, I checked my bank balance on my phone app. I had enough saved up that I could afford a cheap motel for a couple of weeks. Given the number of restaurants in Las Vegas, I figured I could find a job relatively easy if I wanted to extend my time there.

I re-packed all my stuff, and then wrote a note to Louise and Jonathan explaining my plans. I knew it was awful of me not to wait the few hours until they got home to tell them in person, but I knew if I waited, one of them would convince me to stay. I explained that in the letter, and hoped they’d be forgiving and accepting of my decision.

Once I put my stuff in the car, I got behind the wheel, and took a deep, steadying breath to calm my nerves. I looked out the window. The sky was blue and the sun, warm and bright.

“Here I go, Mama,” I whispered before starting the car and pointing it eastward. “Please watch over me...”

Like the last time, I didn’t look back. I had no choice but to keep moving forward.