Page 26 of Mac

“Me,” I murmured.

“Why’s that?”

“Because I don’t know what being a part of a family truly means. The loyalty you hold dear—it’s just a vague, unfamiliar concept to me.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

Did I want to tell him my ugly truth? But the words just came out. “My grandmother raised me. She was a wonderful person but she”—I paused, admitting something I’d never once voiced aloud—“didn’t love me enough to protect me from her emotionally and verbally abusive husband and son.”

In my peripheral view, I noticed it. It was small, but I saw him tense. I couldfeelhis anger. For me, on behalf of me. And it was comforting, even though I knew that was probably messed up.

“You know,” I said, my voice quiet “when you’re told you’re nothing and no one tells you that they care about you, that you matter, hug you, or tell you that they love you...it’s the slowest way to die, I think.”

“Kate…come here,” Mac said hoarsely. He pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me.

I hugged him back, because, dammit, I wanted to know what being in his arms felt like. He held me tight to his body, his hand going into my hair, and I relished the contact.

Mac had a harder edge than most because of his childhood. Even though he found the club early on, that kind of thing haunted a person all the way into adulthood. I knew better than most. He could be honest and open, but already I knew it had to be on his terms. He didn’t share with just anybody, and he had a tough time showing his emotions. I could read him easier because our traumas were so similar. Because I was the same exact way. It was nice to know that there was someone here who understood me on a fundamental level. How odd it’d be someone like Mac, but it felt like kismet, or maybe Mom was working her magic.

I pulled away and looked at everything around me; there was a lot to be gained.

When I noticed Mac’s hand traveling up and down my back, I realized how...personal our embrace had become. I pulled away further, and he didn’t stop me. “You okay?” he asked me, tucking some stray strands of hair behind my ear.

I thought about it. “Better than yesterday,” I said.

He grinned. “Glad to hear that.”

We headed back to the clubhouse. Even though I was tall, I felt small and delicate next to him.

Just when I was about to tell Mac I appreciated him listening to me, a woman came bolting out of the clubhouse and cuddled right up next to Mac.

“Hey, baby,” she started as she rubbed her hand up and down Mac’s chest.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Michelle?” Mac growled.

Michelle pouted, her arm like a vice around his waist. “Viper said you guys needed help with bartending. Party’s winding down, so I figured we could go up to your room. It’s been a while, baby; I miss you.”

I felt my stomach bottom out, seeing him withher. Meredith had told me about the club girls, and I knew some of the guys hooked up with them. Mac had clearly been hooking up with this Michelle chick. For some stupid reason, I’d thought he was single, but it should have been obvious someone like him would be with somebody. Or a lot of somebodies. Even though he teased me and made a lot of innuendoes, he’d never once made a move on me.

The knot of jealousy in my stomach was embarrassing. So what if he’d been kind to me? It didn’t mean anything, especially to Mac, and as much as I hated to admit it, I was more than a little disappointed.

“See you around,” I muttered. As I moved around them, I glanced over and met Michelle’s eyes. The look of triumph was evident, but I ignored it. I ignored it all and decided to take into consideration all the other good things I had.

While Mac was no knight in shining armor, he’d at least said some wise things I was starting to take to heart. Like deciding that I truly had a place here. As I walked over to Viking and Meredith, who included me like I’d always been there, the sting of disappointment I’d felt with Mac faded.

Slowly, I started to enjoy myself as I listened to a story Colt was telling. And as the night wore on, I found more and more reasons to stay, grateful that my luck was finally turning.