Page 1 of Mac

Kate

The cemetery was now shrouded in darkness. Everyone had left hours ago, having paid their final respects to my grandmother. There was a reception at the house, which I assumed was still going on, but I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I was a little surprised, albeit extremely grateful, no one had come looking for me yet.

It seemed appropriate that the California sky was a dull gray and the winter sun was hiding behind equally gray clouds. I tipped my head back as the wind whipped my hair around my face. I thought of the last few months I’d watched Grandma’s health decline. I’d spent most of that time taking care of her, making sure she was as comfortable as possible. It was the least I could do for the woman who took me in when her daughter had decided the burdens of this world were too difficult to carry any longer and took her own life. I’d only been six years old at the time, so my memories of my mother were few.

Unfortunately, the house my grandmother raised me in wasn’t a happy one. My grandfather had been a mean, old man and when he passed away, my uncle stepped effortlessly into the role of an overbearing jerk. And while Grandma was always sweet to me, and I believe she did love me, she often deferred to what her husband and later, Uncle Stuart, wanted.

Then there was the fact that I had no idea who my father was. No one ever spoke of him, and as I got older, the only conclusion I could come to was that my father must not have wanted anything to do with me. Now, with Grandma gone, any semblance of a family had disappeared as well. I knew I needed to come to terms with that or I’d never make it. But sitting here, alone, left me numb inside.

The cold air was starting to get to me, so I decided it was time to head home. If I was lucky, everyone would be gone by the time I got there. As I stood up from the plastic folding chair provided by the funeral home, I heard the low rumble of motorcycles driving along the road in front of the cemetery. I closed my eyes as they passed by and imagined how free it must feel riding on one of those beasts. I’d never felt free in my nearly twenty-one years.

“There you are.” A familiar voice had me spinning around to look at my friend. “Why are you still here?”

“I wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet.” I didn’t like to lie to my only friend, but it was hard to explain to him that I would rather sit amongst the dead than be forced to deal with the living back at my house.

No one knew the truth of my home life because my uncle always waited until we were alone before yelling at me about whatever ridiculous thing pissed him off that day. Jonathan and everyone else I came into contact with assumed everything was fine. But the ugly words my uncle spewed at me on a daily basis hurt, and today, I was afraid they would break me.

“Well, it’s getting late,” Jonathan said. “We should probably get you home. I think most everyone has left by now.”

That was a relief. I stared down at the hole in the ground, wondering what the future would hold for me. After I said a final, silent farewell to my grandmother, I grabbed my purse and started to walk toward the parking lot.

Jonathan reached out and grabbed my wrist before I got too far. “You know you can always come to me if you need anything.” He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear and then cupped my jaw with his hand.

I slowly stepped away from him. Sometimes his actions made me uncomfortable because I sensed he wasn’t content with our “just friends” relationship status.

The two of us met shortly after I moved in with my grandmother. We instantly became best friends and were inseparable. In high school, we gave dating a try, but it didn’t take long for me to figure out that any feelings I had for him were more brotherly than romantic. He’d said he understood, but sometimes he couldn’t hide his frustration that I hadn’t tried harder to make things work between us. His friendship meant the world to me, and I didn’t want to lose him, so I always tried to make sure I wasn’t leading him on in any way.

Since I had driven myself to the cemetery, Jonathan followed behind my beat-up sedan in his own car. My stomach knotted as we pulled up to the house I shared with just my uncle now. We lived in a little town called Apple Valley. It was a nice place, and I lived in a nice house, but what was on the inside wasn’t nice at all.

Jonathan walked around to my door as I got out of my car and immediately reached for my hand as we moved toward the front door. This time, I didn't pull away because I needed to borrow some of his strength. You would think the death of Stuart’s own mother would’ve kept him from lashing out at me. But instead, he decided an hour after she died was the perfect time to tell me exactly how he felt about me. I no longer had any doubt Stu despised my very existence. I never understood why he hated me, even when I’d tried everything in my power to be on good terms with him.

“Let’s tell Stu you’re home and then you can get some sleep. You have work tomorrow, right?”

I nodded my head in response. I was grateful I still had a job. My boss at the restaurant had been extremely understanding when I had to cut back my hours to care for Grandma. But, it was time to get back to my regular schedule. I needed the money so I could enroll in some college courses while continuing to pay the rent Stu had been charging me since my eighteenth birthday, almost three years ago.

I let go of Jonathan’s hand and pushed the front door open. Immediately, I could tell Stu wasn’t alone. I heard the voices of his friends, Jerry and Lou. I assumed the two of them didn’t have jobs, just like Stu, because they hung around the house all the time. Lou was okay, I guess, but Jerry gave me the creeps. His beady eyes were continually checking me out, and I could only stand being in a room with him for about thirty seconds before I had to make an excuse to leave.

I walked toward the kitchen to tell Stu I was home. I wanted to make it quick so I could go to my room and get things ready for tomorrow.

“Well, hello, Katie,” I heard Jerry say as soon as I walked around the corner. The lecherous tone in his voice made me sick to my stomach.

I glared at the jerk, but my uncle interrupted before I could form a snarky reply.

“Where the fuck have you been?” I was accustomed to hearing the maliciousness in Stu’s voice, but I’d hoped, just for today, he would be kind to me. After all, we had both lost someone special to us.

“I stayed behind at the cemetery.” I tried to say it calmly. But inside, I was shaking with fury.

“Too bad you wasted your time there,” he snarled back. “Now you have less time to pack your shit.”

I stared at him, not sure I’d heard him right. “What?” I asked, slowly. “Pack...?”

He pointed at me, his expression ugly. “I want you gone tonight, otherwise I’ll throw you and your shit out. This ismyhouse now. I don’t want you here, and I don’t give a fuck what happens to you.”

Everything around me started to go blurry, and I felt like I couldn’t get my breathing under control.

“I would have done it sooner, but Mom wouldn’t let me do that to herpreciousgranddaughter.” His hatred for me was so obvious that everyone in the room was aware of his feelings for me. He stood up; his face was red and blotchy. “I’m not supporting some stupid-ass kid my slut of a sister had no right giving birth to in the first place.”

Jonathan started to lunge toward Stu. There was no way that would end well, seeing as Jerry and Lou now stood behind Stuart, just waiting for a reason to kick Jonathan’s ass.