Page 67 of Falling for the Unexpected

“Ugh! Of course, he is denying it’s his. I fucking hate him,” she said, throwing her phone down on the couch. She seldom said “fuck” so I knew she was truly pissed.

Seeing her on the verge of losing it hurt me. I felt like an ass for doubting her. Of course she would never do drugs. I knew her, knew the kind of woman and mother she was.

Realizing my own baggage was hurting her I reached out for her. “Babe, come here. I’m sorry I accused you. Finding that crap just brought back some really bad memories for me. I have no reason to believe any of that was yours,” I said, gently kissing her.

I sat down on the couch and pulled her down next to me. We sat there just holding each other for a bit. Anger at myself was seeping in. This was exactly what Addie had meant months ago when she said I didn’t trust easily. I loved Simone too much to let my issues come between us. Just as I was about to open up and explain my irrational response I heard my text alert go off.

Brad:Dude, she’s not as innocent as you think.

I read the message a couple times. What the fuck was Brad talking about? I was just about to text him back when a picture from his number came through. The image on the screen caused me to gasp out loud. There was a girl on her hands and knees in a black lacy bra and matching thong. On her right ass cheek was a line of what I assumed was coke. But the part that caused my heart to break was when I recognized the woman looking over her shoulder. It was my Simone with a look of seduction on her face that I hadn’t seen before. She wasn’t looking directly at the camera, and it was a little grainy, but I knew it was her.

While I was still trying to wrap my brain around what I had just seen, another picture came through. This was obviously from the same night but this one showed Simone leaning over a table with a straw to her nose while snorting a line.

All the air left my body as a hundred thoughts and scenarios crossed my mind. I tried to think back to our entire time together, wondering if I’d been so infatuated with Simone that I’d ignored the reality before me.

My mother had constantly told me she wasn’t using. And for a while, that seemed to be the case, but she always chose drugs over her own children. Had I missed the signs? Had I been blind to it? Being duped again… I felt sick.

Once again, I felt like my world had just ended. It was like I was a kid again. My head was swimming, and my heart felt like it might literally burst out of my chest. It hit me that I might be having a panic attack. I leaned over and rubbed my temples, hard.

“Kyle?” she said, slowly. “What is it? You look like someone died…”

Suddenly the guilt I had been feeling earlier quickly turned to anger. I lowered my hands and met her gaze; this entire thing was surreal, like a horrible dream. “So you don’t do drugs, huh?” I asked, lashing out. I tossed my phone in her direction, feeling old angers and new ones mingling and focused solely on Simone.

She picked it up and looked down at the pictures Brad sent. Her face turned pale and I saw tears form in her eyes. “Kyle, this isn’t what it looks like,” she said quietly.

“Oh, really?” I scoffed. “It looks like you doing coke while acting like a whore.” My voice was cold and harsh, but I didn’t care, not right now.

Her head snapped up to look at me. She couldn’t have looked more pained than if I had actually reached out slapped her. At the moment, I didn’t care. She’d lied. How many times was I going to allow a woman to lie to me before I learned my lesson? This was why I didn’t do relationships, didn’t do long-term. I always got burned in the end. When she tried to reach out to me, and scoot closer to me, I flinched. She jerked back.

“This is from the first night I met Brad,” she explained, her voice panicky.

“So you aren’t going to deny using cocaine?” I couldn’t move past that detail.

“I tried it once. I hated the way it made me feel and told myself I would never touch drugs again. That was more than three years ago. You have to believe me,” she pleaded, the tears running down her face.

I wanted to believe her. I wanted to believe her more than anything, but my whole childhood had been ruined by drug use. My mother was a master manipulator and could get anyone to believe she really didn’t have a problem. I couldn’t fall into that same routine with Simone. I couldn’t let her convince me she didn’t have a problem just because I never saw her use.

“I can’t do this,” I said, not able to look at her.

“What do you mean?” she asked, the fear evident in her voice.

“I can’t be with someone I can’t trust.”

“Kyle, I swear to you, I don’t use drugs,” she said, grabbing hold of my arm.

I needed to get out of this apartment so I could think. I didn’t want to see her in pain, but this was too much for me.

I pulled my arm away and got up, grabbing my phone. “I need to go,” I said, moving toward the door.

“Please don’t go,” she whispered. “Stay and talk to me about this.”

“I can’t. I need some time to think,” I said and then I walked out of her apartment and away from the first woman I ever loved.