Page 5 of Falling for the Unexpected

“Simone?” the man next to me questioned.

Recognizing the voice, I looked over, and was immediately met by a familiar pair of green eyes. Kyle O’Neill was here, sitting in my section with a model-perfect date.

I smiled at him briefly, almost forgetting I was there to take their order. “Hi, Kyle,” I said, trying to go for casual, but my voice caught in my throat and it came out breathy and shaky. His date gave me a quick up and down look, then seemed to dismiss my very existence.

I had seen Kyle a few times over the last couple years. He and my brother-in-law, Trent, spent a lot of time together so I would occasionally run into him, usually at my in-law’s house. He knew I worked here, but this was the first time I’d ever seen him come to this restaurant. I suddenly felt nervous and could feel my face get a little warm.

Every time I saw him, I was in awe of his good looks. Tonight wasn’t any different. He wore a pair of black slacks with a crisp, burgundy button-down shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, giving him a somewhat casual look. His hair was gelled and styled perfectly.

“Courtney, this is my friend’s sister-in-law, Simone. Simone, this is Courtney,” Kyle said. “She’s a lawyer, too.”

“Oh, how nice,” I acknowledged, and mentally kicked myself for the lame response. The fact that Kyle took the time to introduce me to his date was a surprise. It also warmed something inside of me. The two of us had never talked about the night we unofficially met but he never seemed to hold a grudge. Everything I knew about him led me to believe he was a really nice guy. It also wasn’t lost on me that he hadn’t introduced Courtney as his girlfriend, but something more platonic, and Kyle’s date hadn’t missed it either. She had given me a haughty look and promptly picked up her menu without saying anything to me.

“How’ve you been?” he asked.

My attention veered back to Kyle. He was smiling warmly up at me and his gaze was direct. Like I wasn’t some no-nothing waitress or the woman who had ruined his sister’s life—but instead, someone who deserved as much attention as his date. He treated me like we were equals when we really weren’t. It was flattering, if not a little disarming. I’m sure he was like that with everyone, especially toward his dates. And I bet he had plenty of dates. He was probably like Trent, who dated a lot but didn’t have a steady woman in his life.

“Good,” I finally answered, realizing I needed to stop thinking about Kyle’s relationship status and focus on my job instead. I turned toward Courtney and smiled politely at her. “It’s nice to meet you,” I offered, but moved on quickly so I could leave. I focused on my duties as their waitress and it helped with my nerves. I gave them my spiel about the specials and took out my pen and notepad. “Can I take your drink order?”

I spent the next bit of my shift glancing at Kyle and Courtney in between serving my other customers. I didn’t know why I was so interested in what was happening at their table, but my focus was glued to the both of them, at their interaction and expressions. Kyle was attractive, but that wasn’t all that had captured my attention. I couldn’t help but notice the small things like the flirty way Courtney placed her hand on Kyle’s arm or the smile he would throw at her in the middle of their conversation. It made me long for something I didn’t have.

A couple hours later, once I was done with my shift, I grabbed the meal I had ordered from the kitchen and headed out the back exit. I was a little less excited now about heading home to see Brad. I knew it was because I was jealous of the date I had spent an hour and a half observing. I had fantasies years ago that I would be with a man who was attentive like the way Kyle had been with Courtney. But I had come to terms with knowing that wasn’t ever going to be my reality.

I placed the food in the backseat of my Honda Civic, next to Stella’s car seat, and got into the driver’s seat. The drive home only took about fifteen minutes and I spent that time making an effort to change my attitude. By the time I pulled into our designated parking space at our apartment complex, I’d convinced myself that I was looking forward to my impromptu date night with my husband. I noticed Brad’s truck parked in our other space and I felt a sense of relief that he was actually home. There had been a part of me that thought he was going to bail on our night together. I wouldn’t have been surprised. He’d done it before, and me pointing that out only caused him to get mad at me.

I climbed the two flights of stairs to our apartment, which we had moved into a couple months before Stella was born. It was a two bedroom in a nice part of San Diego. I unlocked the door and immediately saw Brad sitting in the living room playing some video game. He was quite animated, yelling at the screen and moving around with the controller. He didn’t acknowledge me as I closed the door and set my purse on the counter. Since I was hungry and Brad likely was too, I wanted to eat dinner before getting comfy. I moved to the kitchen to prepare our plates. I grabbed a beer for him and a water bottle for me then carried everything over to the couch, knowing Brad wouldn’t want to move over to our small dining room table to eat.

“Hey, can you take a break from that for a minute?” I asked, setting his plate on the coffee table.

“Yeah.” Brad tossed his controller down and switched the mode to regular TV where some sort of car show was playing. “This actually looks pretty good,” he said and then dug into the pot roast and vegetables. It was probably my favorite thing on the menu at the restaurant. He gave me a look of appreciation and it made me happy that he was enjoying it as well.

Kind words from him, a cordial moment like this, were few and far between so I remained silent as to not break the spell. For a brief second, the illusion that we were a happily married couple almost felt possible.

I couldn’t remember a time growing up where someone spoke kindly to me. In my childhood I had seen more than my fair share of physical and emotional abuse. As I got older and moved around in foster care, I was mostly ignored. I knew that witnessing beatings and being neglected had a profound effect on me and was the reason why I tolerated Brad’s behavior. Did that make it worse, knowing his treatment of me was poor but accepting it anyway? Lately, I was starting to wonder if I was repeating the patterns of my childhood. Of keeping silent, enduring the problems, and just trying to get by.

In truth, I was all grown up, but very little had actually changed. Brad and I had both settled for this life and sometimes I thought it was enough. But I was learning thathavinga family andbeinga family were two very different things. In many ways, my casual relationship with Brad hadn’t changed since we’d first met. We still didn’t know the little things about each other, like what made us happy or what our goals in life were. Brad had felt obligated to do the right thing, and acted on that. But he wasn’t invested in our relationship, just physically here, and every day, that became more apparent. I hadn’t known what to expect when we married, I’d just hoped for the best. But hoping didn’t make things happen or our lives better.

I thought back to a specific couple as I ate, blindly watching the TV show and not really tasting the food. However long they’d known each other, be that just recently or not, Courtney and Kyle had clearly been into each other. Kyle was not shy about showing his interest. He was engaging and attentive, talking to her and listening, but he was respectful at the same time. I couldn’t recall a time when Brad had doted on me, or even smiled warmly at me, just because, or wanted to hold my hand. When we were out and about—and that too was a rare event—he always acted like he didn’t really know me, or Stella, for that matter. I looked at Brad, who kept his own eyes on the TV and didn’t attempt any conversation with me at all.

For the next half hour, we continued to eat, but Brad seemed to be filled with anxious energy. His leg never stopped bouncing up and down and he kept fidgeting with his utensils. I knew something was up when he literally jumped up off the couch to take his plate, and mine when I was finished, to the kitchen.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Uh, yeah.” He wouldn’t look at me as he set our plates in the sink. “I had an energy drink right before you came home. Guess the caffeine is getting to me,” he explained.

I got up to help him in the kitchen and as soon as I walked in, Brad grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall and then his lips were crashing down hard on mine. I gasped at the suddenness of his movements and he took advantage of that and shoved his tongue into my mouth. Confused by his abruptness but also slightly turned on, I started to kiss him back. Our relationship was far from perfect, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have needs that I turned to my husband to fulfill. Sex had been the one way I would allow myself to feel close to someone and I wanted to feel close to my husband.

When he finally broke the kiss, he turned away from me. It took me a moment to catch my breath. “What was that?” I asked, a little dazed by what had happened.

He must have mistaken my question because he started shouting. “What? I can’t kiss my wife? Jesus Christ, Simone! What the fuck is your problem?”

Whatever arousal I had been feeling was quickly dissipating due to his outburst. “I don’t have a problem. You caught me off guard, that’s all. I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly in an effort to calm him down.

He turned back around and his eyes had taken on a dark quality. I wasn’t sure if it was lust or anger, but both possibilities made me nervous. I was suddenly five years old again watching my parents fight in the kitchen. I was too young at the time to comprehend what was happening. All I knew was they would fight and things would either end with them suddenly kissing and leaving me alone as they went to their room, or my father beating the crap out of my mother. I would often run to my room not wanting to see how things would end.

“We haven’t fucked in a month, Simone. I thought that’s what you had in mind for tonight,” Brad finally said, bringing me out of my memories.

“Well, yeah, I did,” I responded, and that was the truth. I was hoping we would spend some time talking and theneventuallyend up in bed together. I just wasn’t expecting it to happen like this.