Page 17 of Falling for the Unexpected

Chapter 5

Simone

It had been a week since Jim’s birthday party and I was still confused and embarrassed by what had transpired between Kyle and me. I hadn’t meant to break down in his arms and I was surprised that I’d let him hold me for those few minutes. Even more surprising was how good his embrace had felt. Normally, I would have pulled back right away, but I’d felt safe in his arms. And I believed him when he said if I needed a friend he’d be there because that’s who Kyle was—a great guy who was there for those he cared about. But I knew he didn’t care about me in that way or in any way, really. He was a guy who saw someone in pain and wanted to do something about it.

Brad had left shortly after we’d returned to the backyard, and I think everyone was relieved. Even Marla and Jim hadn’t seen him off like they usually did, and had ignored him when he said he was leaving. I wasn’t surprised that he didn’t say goodbye to me or ask about Stella, who’d still been napping in her room upstairs.

As the evening continued, Kyle kept looking at me. He must have thought I was pathetic. He didn’t reveal anything on his face or in his attitude toward me, but I could see something in his eyes—pity. That was a worse feeling than being ignored your whole life. I could handle neglect but I wasn’t some wounded animal licking her wounds. I could own up to my mistakes, like my marriage, and while I’d been blind about a lot of things, I was starting to see things with Brad as they were. I didn’t need anyone feeling sorry for me.

Other than Brad’s drama, it’d turned out to be a great day. Addie and I talked a little more, and I’d felt the most relaxed I’d ever felt around the Thompsons and their friends. Stella had fun and that’d brought me more joy than anything.

But since that day, things between Brad and I had become even more strained. We only talked when it came to things dealing with Stella. Even then he wasn’t all that interested. He would leave for work just as Stella and I were waking up. I would then take Stella to his parents’ house before he got off work. Often when I got home from a long shift, he would already be asleep, or we would just ignore each other and go about our own activities. On my days off, he almost always had plans with friends in an attempt to stay away from home.

Tonight, my restaurant manager had once again scheduled too many servers for the Sunday night shift so I’d only had a couple tables all night. I needed to start looking for another waitressing job because I couldn’t afford to continue losing out on tips. Even so, once my shift was over I was extremely happy to be headed home. I was exhausted and a quiet night at home sounded good.

I pulled into my parking space and saw Brad’s truck in his spot. I was a little shocked to see it there. I sort of thought he would have taken Stella to his parents’ house and gone out for the evening. I had been anticipating a text while still at work telling me to pick her up over there.

It was a little after nine so I expected Stella to be in bed. While my world revolved around my little girl and I loved everything about being a mom, I wasn’t going to be upset if I didn’t have to deal with the bedtime routine tonight.

When I walked into the apartment, the living room was completely dark. Brad wasn’t sitting on the couch playing video games like usual. Assuming he was still putting Stella down, I slipped past her closed door as quietly as I could so I wouldn’t disturb them or risk waking her up.

As I reached out to turn the knob on my bedroom door, I heard an odd sound coming from the other side. Maybe Stella was already asleep and Brad was getting ready to settle in for the night? Suddenly a hot shower and my pajamas sounded like a wonderful idea.

I pushed the door open, still being quiet so I wouldn’t wake our daughter. I saw Brad sitting on the edge of our bed facing away from me. I was just about to call out to him when I was stopped dead in my tracks.

“Oh, yeah, baby, keep going just like that,” Brad moaned.

It took a second for those words to register in my brain. They made no sense; Brad was just sitting there. It wasn’t until I took a couple steps in his direction that I saw a woman kneeling between his legs.

I was frozen to the spot right there on the carpet. Brad still had no idea I was in the room.

“What the fuck?” I asked so quietly I wasn’t sure anyone could hear me. As everything started to sink in I yelled, “Seriously! What. The. Fuck?”

Both Brad and the woman on the floor turned to look at me. It was then that I recognized the other woman as Tiffany, the auto shop’s receptionist.

Suddenly, the loud crying of a toddler took my attention away from the humiliating scene in front of me. I rushed out of my bedroom and into Stella’s. She was standing in her crib and crying at the top of her lungs, no doubt, angry over being woken up by my yelling.

“It’s okay, baby girl, mama’s here,” I said, picking her up and snuggling her against my chest. I stayed in her room gently rocking her back and forth. I wasn’t sure who was comforting whom in that moment.

As I sat in the rocking chair with my daughter, it hit me that Brad may have actually planned this. He knew my schedule at work, and there was a routine set in place for when he went out. He’d wanted me to see them… to see it all. For him to be that cruel, to purposefully hurt me, shocked me. Brad had gone to a level that surpassed even his usual standards of reprehensible behavior. I felt dizzy, trying to process everything. It was all so overwhelming. Stella fussed a little at my tight hold on her but almost seemed to understand I needed her and she settled into me. I was drawing strength from my daughter to do what I needed to, what had been a long time coming.

I could hear voices moving down the hall, but I didn’t care what they were saying to each other or what they were doing. Part of me wanted Brad to leave while I was distracted with our daughter, but another part of me wanted him to stay so he could hear everything I had to say, once and for all.

After another fifteen minutes of rocking Stella, she had calmed down and fallen back asleep. I made sure to give her the stuffed animal she had been sleeping with since birth and tucked her in with her favorite purple, fuzzy blanket. I turned off the light and moved through the door, shutting it quietly behind me.

Inhaling deeply through my nose and exhaling through my mouth, I took several more deep breaths in an effort to calm myself down. I don’t know what possessed me to, but instead of going directly to the living room where I assumed Brad was waiting for me, I walked into my bedroom. I knew there might be things I didn’t want to see in there but I still felt an uncontrollable urge to look. I looked at his side of the bed and could see the indent of where he had been sitting in the blankets. It acted as proof that he had actually been there. I was about to turn around when something on the nightstand caught my eye. I walked over to get a closer look and was completely shocked by what I saw. Lying on top of the dark wood was a small mirror with two lines of coke on it and a rolled bill that looked like it had already been used. Of course, right next to the drugs was a strip of condoms.

So that’s where all our money had been going.On fucking drugs?!And he was probably spending money on his sidepiece, too. It explained why he was always on his phone; he could have been arranging to meet his drug dealer or Tiffany. Memories of dealing with my drug addicted parents and the night Brad and I met floated to the surface.

The first night Brad and I hooked up, both of us had experimented with cocaine. At the time, I was an impulsive nineteen-year-old who saw sex as a way to form the connections I was so desperately craving. When Brad showed the slightest bit of interest I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I’d let him charm me into trying coke. It was the stupidest thing I’d ever done considering I knew the kind of damage drugs could do. I had absolutely no desire to ever do it again. Brad had told me at the time that he didn’t use it very often, but now I had to wonder if that was the truth. Drug use could explain some of the recent changes in his behavior. And I couldn’t believe that he had been doing drugs while he was responsible for our daughter! That was what had my jaw clenched, hands balled into fists and ready to hit something—or someone. I could hear the blood rushing in my ears with how fast my heart was beating.

I felt my eyes sting but I wasn’t going to cry. I was tired of crying. Not too long ago, I had feared that I was repeating my childhood. Turned out, I was, and that’s what made this even more devastating and infuriating. I hadn’t learned from my past but now, I had a choice, a chance to correct things before it went too far.

Before I walked out to the living room, I looked dispassionately around my bedroom that no longer felt like my space anymore. I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was. Brad and I didn’t really share a life together. We were nothing more than acquaintances thrown together by circumstance.

Walking out to Brad, the only thing I knew for sure was this night was definitely the end of my marriage. I had desperately wanted to provide Stella with the family I never had, so desperate, in fact, I had ignored the lack of love and affection in our relationship. I never wanted Stella to feel unwanted, but even I couldn’t pretend any longer that this was a healthy environment for her. By protecting myself, I was, in essence, protecting her as well. I needed to teach her that accepting this sort of treatment was not an option for her. I wouldn’t want her to be in a relationship like this, which in turn meant I shouldn’t be in one like it, either.

I had no idea what to expect but I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. I had never felt this much anger before, not even with my parents and growing up in the system. I was so furious that every part of my body was shaking. I looked around, making sure Tiffany was actually gone.