Page 95 of Everything We Found

“Fine.” The word shot through the car like a bullet. “Do you want me to say that every time I connect with Tom, chaos follows? That my resentment runs so deep I can’t bring myself to engage with him?”

“It would explain why you’re willing to gamble your life and his,” she said coldly. “Because that’s what you were doing when you wouldn’t keep a line of communication open between you.”

His hands gripped the wheel so tight she thought it might snap. “My priority was to protect my family. To get Nat and the kids to a secure location. I couldn’t risk Tom distracting me with his drama.” He exhaled a harsh breath. “Sorry. I’m not angry at you.”

Would that change if she confessed she’d known he hadn’t been dead? That she’d been in on Thomas’s ruse? She should tell him before Nick did. Better to hear directly from her. But she was afraid he wouldn’t let her ride along if he knew the truth.

“Where is your family?” she asked more gently. “Are they safe?”

“They are. For now.” The weariness in his voice betrayed the toll this was taking on him.

She hesitated, then asked a question that had bothered her for years. “Can I ask you something personal about Thomas?”

A pause. “Go ahead.”

“Why is he so protective of your family when… well, you know how your parents were.” Controlling, demanding, manipulative. Neglectful. Abusive. She could go on. “They weren’t the greatest.”

“No, they weren’t,” James agreed darkly.

“So what’s driving him? He puts your family’s needs before his own, puts my needs before his. He’s been like that for as long as I’ve known him.”

James was quiet for a moment. “I’ve never figured that one out other than Tom measures his self-worth through what he can do for others. Maybe it’s because our parents never did anything for us, him especially. I always felt unappreciated, and I’m sure he did too. He took on a surrogate parent role when we were young and I don’t think that responsibility ever left him.”

“He identifies as being your protector.”

“That about sums it up.”

“He blames himself when things go wrong for people he cares about,” she continued, the realization hitting her as she spoke. “He feels like he failed to protect the company’s employees and their families from Phil’s schemes. This crushing sense of responsibility he’s taken on as his own extends well beyond us.” She paused. “Did you know he convinced your dad to pay off my mom’s mortgage after my dad moved out?”

James looked at her in surprise. “I didn’t.”

“His sacrifices give him a sense of control, I think.” She was starting to see him more clearly than she ever had before. Before, her guilt over lying to Aimee, her regret from walking in on Thomas at the funeral home, had clouded what was lying underneath his actions, as outrageous as they’d been. His own life had been careening out of control.

“I can see that. Our home life wasn’t exactly stable growing up.” He cast her a sideways glance. “What’s between you two?”

She didn’t hesitate answering. “I love him.”

“After everything he’s done?” There was judgment in that question.

“After everything he’s done.”

James didn’t say anything further. He just looked at her, processing her words, and turned his attention back to the road.

They fell silent. It was late, the monotonous landscape of the Central Valley hidden under a cloak of darkness. James shifted in his seat, ran a hand over his head and grasped the back of his neck. The same tell as Thomas when he was in thought or debating whether to ask something difficult.

Then he did.

“How’s Aimee? Is she happy?”

Nadia turned her face to the window, seeing Aimee’s piercing gaze filled with hurt, eyes narrowed with distrust rather than her own reflection.

“She’s happy.” Just not with her.

“And… Ian? Her husband?”

“He’s good to her,” she said carefully. “Good for her.”

Their eyes met and James’s gaze sharpened. He got the message. In her opinion, he never would have lived up to the partner Aimee deserved.