Page 51 of Everything We Found

He’d scoff at her for harboring anything remotely romantic toward him. He thought of her as a younger sister, at least he used to. Besides, now was the worst time to dissect her feelings, let alone act on them. They were literally trying to stay alive.

Cammy plucked a grape from the bunch in the fruit bowl and offered some to Nadia. “After his mom convinced their board to give him the boot from the family biz, he showed up here unannounced, much like you two did today. He was in a bad way. Depressed, angry, barely holding it together. His wholeidentity had been based on that company. I’d only seen him like that once before. It was after they’d found James.”

Something like shock rippled through Nadia. She’d been so focused on herself and Aimee, and keeping what she’d known about James a secret, that she rarely gave thought to what Thomas must have endured.

“I insisted he stay with me for a while, hoping the change of scenery and some hard work would clear his head. Get his mind off his mother and the company.” Cammy popped a grape into her mouth. “One morning, I found him out in the barn, saddling up my Paci. Now, that old gal is a gentle soul, but lordy, she’s not the easiest to ride. She’s got a mind of her own and a wicked sense of humor.”

As if on cue, Paci nipped Thomas’s shoulder and moved away at a fast trot, tossing her mane with a whinny. The horse was laughing at him. Cammy chuckled.

“There was Tom. Determined to take her out for a ride. I’m sure you know how he is when he gets an idea lodged in that brain of his.”

“Did he have experience?” She wouldn’t know where to begin saddling a horse, let alone riding one.

“Hardly a lick.”

Nadia’s brows shot up and Cammy popped another grape. She offered the bunch to Nadia again and she plucked a few off the vine.

“Oh, he’d watched me plenty. I’d taught him to saddle a horse and he’d ridden a time or two before. But never with my gal, Paci. Of all my horses, he was convinced riding her would give him the perspective he needed. And if anyone was up for a challenge, it was our boy Tommy. Well, Paci’s a smart one. She sensed she had an amateur on her back because the moment he swung up into the saddle, she took off like a shot. Poor Tom held on for dear life, all wide-eyed with a death grip on the reins whileshe galloped around the barrels at full speed like she was in a race.” Cammy chuckled again.

Nadia had trouble picturing Thomas on a runaway horse. He was skilled at everything he set his mind to, always in control even when chaos surrounded him.

“What happened next?” she asked.

“Paci decided she’d had enough and came to an abrupt halt at the water trough, promptly dumping Tom right into it. It was like something out of those old Westerns. He came up sputtering, drenched head to toe. I half-expected him to curse up a storm and stomp off, but you know what he did instead?”

Nadia shook her head, a smile tugging the corners of her mouth.

“He started laughing, full-bellied until he had tears streaming. Then he looked Paci over and said, ‘I guess I needed that.’ He later told me he hadn’t laughed that hard in months, but that the whole escapade had done exactly what he’d set out to do, clear his head. He spent the rest of that day brushing her down and sneaking her carrots, as if she’d done him a favor.” Cammy’s expression softened, her eyes warmed with affection. She wasn’t even trying to hide from Nadia how much she cared for him. “That’s the thing about Tom,” she said. “Even when he’s at his lowest, he puts others first. His heart is too big for his own good.”

Cammy went quiet, and Nadia reflected on the older woman’s story, watching Thomas go through the paces with Paci as he led her around the paddock’s obstacles so she could get in her exercise. She wondered if that was what he was doing now, clearing his head, until she felt Cammy’s attention on her.

“He cares about you, you know.”

Nadia jerked to look at the woman. Her weathered skin softened around faded brown eyes.

“I’ve known about you for a long time, Nadia. You mean more to him than he’ll ever let on. It nearly killed him when you found out he’d faked James’s death. He didn’t want to wish that knowledge or the responsibility of carrying that secret on anyone. He would have shouldered it on his own until it killed him. But between you and me, having that secret between you two, as much as I’m sure you hated it, I believe it’s what kept him sane.”

Nadia blinked, shocked by both Thomas’s interest in her and at this new level of awareness. She hadn’t seen how there could have been anything positive about her carrying the knowledge of James’s existence when everyone else believed him dead.

Cammy rinsed her fingers and dried them on the dish towel. “Welp, I have to get back out to the stables and finish up some work before lunch. Join us when you’re ready.” She patted Nadia’s shoulder and left the kitchen, leaving Nadia stunned. She figured that Thomas cared for her to a certain extent. They’d been friends since childhood. But for him to feel for her more on the level Cammy had described?

Nadia shook her head. She couldn’t quite piece together the man Cammy had described with the one Nadia believed had only considered her as nothing more than a friend. At most, she’d been the little sister he never had. And because of that, she’d never dared allow herself to unbox what she really felt for him and give those feelings a chance to flourish. But even if she could—even if she dared take the risk and make that step with him—they weren’t in the position now to make something of them. They were literally in a fight to stay alive.

She finished washing the mugs, leaving them to dry on the rack by the sink, snagged an apple, and went outside to see exactly what Thomas and Cammy were getting up to. Cammy was taking Paci into the stables when she reached the paddock’s fence. Thomas came over to her, his mouth sliding into a smuggrin. He grabbed her wrist and dropped a pair of leather gloves into her hand.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“Cam’s putting us to work.”

“I figured that, but shouldn’t we be spending our time working out our next steps?” Thomas had said they needed to plan out their plan.

“That’s what we’re doing. Manual labor clears the head. It’ll help us think.”

“It might help you think.” She made a slow study of her professional manicure.

Thomas laughed. It was a rich, full sound that sent a lightning rod of heat through her. She loved his laugh and would give anything to hear it more. He playfully slapped her backside with his gloves, shocking a gasp out of her. He just smiled when she glared at him.

This was the problem, moments like this when he forgot to keep his distance. When she caught glimpses of what they could be if the weight of secrets didn’t stand between them.