Page 75 of Spell Ya Later

His smile is blinding, until it turns feral and I’m lifted by the hips. He holds me there, just barely inside me as I squirm.

“Beg.”

“Please, please, please—shit, Noah, ple?—”

He flips me and fucks into me in a movement so fluid I swear it’s magic. There will be bruises on every inch of my skin in perfectly shaped fingerprints, and I’ll press them tomorrow as a reminder of how he left his love on my skin.

His rhythm is punishing for the rest of the night.

“I meantwhat I said earlier, Hazel. I love you.” He squeezes me tighter from behind, erasing any distance between our bodies.

I smile to myself, running my fingers along the hair on his arm. “I love you, too.”

“I need to ask something of you.” He huffs a breath in my ear. “I need something from you.”

“Of course. Anything.”

“When Sam killed himself, it took me a long time to stop blaming myself. To stop thinking that I should’ve known something was wrong. To stop thinking I should’ve asked him more questions or been more involved.”

“Noah...” My heart breaks for him. I try to turn, but he holds me steady.

“Let me get this out.” Another deep breath. “I need you to talk to me. It isn’t fair to demand it like this, but I need you to tell me the important things. Not everything, but honesty means everything to me. I need honesty.”

Shit. It’s not a ridiculous request—especially knowing how he wishes Sam would’ve told him what he was feeling—but it’s one I haven’t been honoring. I’ve been putting this conversation off for too long.

Tomorrow. I’ll tell him tomorrow.

“Okay. I promise.”

His relief is palpable. The tension melts out of his hold, his grip becomes less desperate and more caring. “I promise the same.”

Despite my fear of this conversation, I can’t help but soak up the moment. This is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.

Chapter 28

Levitating

Ifeel safer in this moment than I ever have. With Noah and the morning light streaming in.

“I’m going to get you some coffee and breakfast. Be back in a few,” Noah whispers, with a kiss to my forehead.

I fall back into the sweet comfort of sleep.

What could be minutes or hours later, I roll to the side, searching for him and only finding cold blankets.

My eyes crack open and confirm that he’s not there. In the kitchen, maybe? I stretch lazily, shaking off the last of the morning and reveling in the ache. He wasn’t gentle last night and I loved every second of it.

My feet land on the floor and I walk into the kitchen.

No Noah.

“Noah?” I call. My voice echoes against the brick walls, the only answer.

Coffee and breakfast couldn’t have taken this long. My eyes dart across the apartment searching for him, for any sign of him.

My abandonment issues are practically jumping out of my eyes at this point.

I throw on a robe and almost trip in my haste as I jog down the steps to the street. I don’t even know where I’m going but something in my very bones tells me something is wrong.