Page 71 of Spell Ya Later

His gaze goes back to the ceiling, his fingers trailing along my arm where it’s wrapped around me. “I don’t know. Sometimes I do. I like believing that there’s someone out there for everyone, someone who could really understand you like no other. But other times I think about how sad that could be.”

“Sad?” My hand falls on his stubbly cheek, turning him back to me. “How is that sad?”

“What about the people who never find their soulmate? Whether that be because of distance, bad luck, or death. I think about my brother. About Sam’s soulmate.” His voice wavers. “What do they do now that he’s gone? Are they doomed to have a love that’s less because my brother couldn’t see a future in which he was happy or loved?”

This man. This beautiful, kind, heartbreaking man. If it were up to me, he’d never feel this kind of pain again. I’d take it from him if I could.

I drag his hand to my chest, pressing it right over my beating heart. “I’m here. And I’m never leaving you.”

His smile is tearful as he rolls so we’re facing each other. He presses his forehead against mine and closes his eyes.

He keeps his hand on my chest, feeling my heartbeat.

I have to do everything I can to keep it beating for him. He can’t lose me, not after losing his brother. If for no other reason than this, I have to stay alive.

For Noah.

Chapter 26

Family Bonding

It’s with Noah’s heartbreaking gaze looping in my head that I stomp into the shop on Sunday morning once again, despite my dramatic exit last week. I ditched Tuesday's and Thursday’s lessons to wander through the bookshop with Noah, so I’m honestly half surprised to see Grandma walking around the room lighting candles.

I figured she’d give up on me just like everyone else.

“You were right,” Grandma says as I enter the room.

I almost stumble back. “Me?Right?Do you have a fever?”

“Sometimes your sarcasm is not as endearing as you believe it to be.” Her eyes are hard. “The fate of our family shouldn’t rest solely on your shoulders. Despite the self-righteous martyr act you’ve adopted, you are right about that. So, I spoke with your mother and sister.”

“You did what now?” This time I do stumble back. Thank God for the bookshelf that catches me.

She nods. “They’ll be here in half an hour. We will discuss this as a family even if we claw each other’s eyes out first.”

The memory of Noah’s anguished face roots me to the ground despite my urge to run upstairs and hide under the fuzzy blankets. The only way I’m getting out of this alive and back toNoah is by working with them. “I’ll stay. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to enjoy it.”

“Luckily for you, I don’t think you’ll be alone in that sentiment.”

Instead of continuing to get my metaphorical ass kicked by a woman who has been out-sarcasming every person she meets since before I was born, I sit in the circle of candles she’s created. I watch her hippie, witchy-chic skirts billow as she perfects her shop. Every herb, every crystal has a perfect space. She’s creating shapes and flitting around, and it takes my eyes a few moments to adjust to the patterns.

It’s like a giant altar.

Maybe she truly means to rip our cooperation out of us. It may be necessary at this point.

The jingling bell above the door sends a shiver down my spine. The skin on my hands is rosy from wringing them.

“Sarah, Laura.” Grandma gestures warmly toward them. “Come sit down.”

My eyes finally lift, anddamn. Mom looks like she’s been through war. Usually the woman is a drop-dead knockout, but today she’s a shell of herself. Her normally liquid-gold eyes are sunken and dull, her brown hair is stringy and frazzled.

Laura at least seems put together, but her eyes dart around like those of an abused puppy.

She hasn’t set foot in this shop since she was a child. I bet she’s getting hit with the same memories I had when I came here for the first time. Her eyes are shiny as she sits beside me, leaving space so we aren’t touching.

My hand itches to close the distance despite everything. She’s my sister after all—when she hurts, I hurt.

As if sensing the sisterly love, she shifts uncomfortably, tucking her knees up to her chin. So much for that.