Page 61 of Spell Ya Later

“Who found me?” I ask instead, meeting her gaze.

Laura’s eyebrows furrow. “Grandma. She has some sort of magical protection spell on us, apparently. She sensed you were in danger when he first hit you. The children helped her narrow down your location. She grabbed a few other people and stormed into the forest.”

That’ll do it.

“Ah.”

“Ah?” She scoffs. “Ah, she says. Like you didn’t give us all a fucking heart attack. Like you didn’t give us all PTS-fucking-D from when Dad died. A fuckingdemon,Hazel. Are you an idiot?”

“I believe it’s daemon, with an ‘a’,” I snap. The overwhelming guilt has my walls up. I don’t want to face her, so I drop my eyes to my hands instead.

“No, Hazel, it’s idiot with an ‘i’.”

My head pounds. The combination of the concussion, whatever spells Grandma put on me, and the bruises threatening to blur my vision.

That could also be the tears.

“You just don’t understand,” I whisper.

She throws her hands in the air. She has dried blood under her fingernails. Is thatmyblood? “What don’t I understand? What is it that caused you to throw yourself at death like you’re invincible?”

“I don’t know!” I can’t focus on the pain in her face. The floodgates have opened and I can’t stop the rushing of words. “Did I have a moment where I could’ve turned around? Where I could’ve grabbed other people to help those kids? Maybe. But I didn’t do it. I chose to do it myself. What does it matter anyway? I don’t have a life.”

Each word burns my lungs, but I can’t stop. “You havefriends, Laura, you’re going to college, you have everyone wrapped around your finger—you havemewrapped around your finger. Have you ever wondered what it feels like to not have any of that? To not know what the hell you’re doing at any given moment and never feeling like you belong anywhere? That nothing you do means anything?” My fingers dig into the heels of my hands. “The only things I have are anger and a desire to protect my family, and I saw...I saw children who needed to be protected the way we needed to be protected. I saw children andI saw us and...I don’t know, Laura. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Her eyes fill with tears, her hand coming up to hold her cheek as if she’s been slapped. “Is that what we are to you? Nothing? Mom, Grandma, me, Noah? We’re all nothing to you?”

Shit.

“Laura, that’s not?—”

“No, it’s exactly what you meant. If I mean so little to you, you won’t mind if I leave.”

I try to lift myself out of bed to follow her, but it’s as if my muscles are filled with lead. She’s gone before I even get a finger to move.

And I know she’s not coming back.

I don’t deserve for her to come back.

I didn’t mean that they meant nothing. I meant that they mean everything and I’ve never had anything for me. Not since Noah.

Shit. Noah.

How long have I been out? What day is it?

I turn toward the bedside table. Where’s my phone? There’s just a glass of water and a clock that doesn’t work.

“Don’t strain yourself,” Grandma says softly as she opens the bedroom door. Despite everything, I smile at the two steaming mugs of tea bobbing along behind her.

“What day is it?” I croak. I hold my hands out for the mug and it settles calmly in my grip. The scent of peppermint dances in the steam wafting from the cup.

Grandma pulls a chair beside the bed and sits in it delicately. “Friday.”

Ouch. Sitting up too quickly is a no-no. “I was out that long?”

“Unfortunately your wounds were extensive. We needed you sedated for the healer to work.”

“Where’s my phone? Noah must be worried sick.”