Page 81 of Tangled Control

But then Alexandra is at his side and places her well-manicured hand possessively on Rian’s arm, and it’s like being punched in the stomach.

“Rian…” Her voice is velvety and intimate.

“Alexandra, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

I want to laugh at his squeaky voice, but any sound is stuck behind the lump in my throat at the sight of Alexandra stretching up on her toes to kiss Rian’s cheek.

Please don’t cry, please don’t cry!

“I just wanted to go over some last-minute details for Friday’s event,” she purrs.

“Um – yes, sure,” Rian stutters. “Let’s go into my office.”

Gemma interrupts, “So, is everything set for the spring barbeque?”

Alexandra gives my colleague all her attention, yet still holding Rian’s arm. “Gemma, isn’t it?”

Gemma smiles widely and nods. “Yes, yes, it is.”

“Well, Gemma, everything is going to plan. It will be aspecialday this year.” She finishes her sentence with a light flick of her shiny hair while gazing up at Rian through her eyelashes.

I want to look away, but for some perverse reason I can’t, despite my insides tearing to bits with every passing second.

“We’re all looking forward to it,” Trevor assures enthusiastically.

Alexandra turns her attention to me, expecting a similar comment. But I just stand there, unable to focus on anything but the hand that is trapping Rian’s muscular arm. I know Alexandra feels his heat through the thin shirt fabric. Know that she’ll soon be wrapped up in it, safe in his arms, just like I was. Like I’ll never be again.

Don’t cry!

I hear Rian’s sharp intake of breath and his abrupt, “Let’s go into my office”, before he leads Alexandra across the floor,hishand now on her lower back, and my heart in a thousand pieces on the felt-covered floor.

As the door closes behind them, Gemma eyes me suspiciously, whereas Trevor is already involved in the gossip the office has erupted in.

“I need another painkiller,” I mumble.

* * *

The living room window is cold against my forehead.

I want to go for a run, to relieve some of the built-up tension, but I can’t seem to move my limbs.

I want to eat, but I know I won’t get a single bite down.

I want to call my mother, but my pride stops me from lifting the phone.

Everything hurts so badly.

My gaze drifts to the chairs on my balcony where Rian and I were sitting in apparent bliss only a few days ago. I squeeze my eyes shut. Tears burn hot trails down my cheeks.

Will I ever feel that way again? I’ve neverfeltso much in my life. These past few weeks have been the most alive I’ve ever been.

He made me feel.

He made me want to live.

And he’s taken it away.

No!