Page 78 of Tangled Control

“I was heartbroken.”

“So was I.”

I see the same hurt in her eyes as I know she sees in mine. What can I say? There’s nothingtosay. I sigh and take a spoonful of dessert. With a lopsided smile, I point at the plate with my spoon. “This is good.”

Alexandra doesn’t argue when I suggest calling it a night after dinner. We don’t say much as we sit next to each other inthe back of the car, the driver navigating smoothly through the evening traffic down to Alexandra’s Ballsbridge home.

Once outside her limestone building, I walk her to the door, as a good date. But every step is heavier than the next. Am I really doing this? I ask myself. I try to block out the world and Catriona. My heart is hammering in my chest for all the wrong reasons as I place my hands on Alexandra’s bare upper arms and trace up her smooth skin until I’m cupping her face.

And I do it.

Leaning down, I brush my lips over Alexandra’s in a soft kiss.

I step back. There’s a twinkle in her eyes and her mouth is tilted in an amused pout.

“What?” I raise my eyebrows and try to add humour to my tone. “Were you expecting me to take you home and fuck you on our first date?”

She laughs quietly and tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Something like that,” she replies, though she doesn’t seem too disappointed.

I scoff. “Not all the rumours you hear about me are true, you know.” I wonder if she’s heard rumours about my kink preferences. Alexandra is far from judgemental, but I doubt she’ll approve of such behaviour from her husband – and she’ll for sure not want to partake. My stomach drops. Yes, my kink will have to be culled.

Alexandra tilts her head to the side. “And what rumours do you hear about me?”

“I don’t.” My reply came automatically, and I don’t know if it’s an insult or not. I can’t remember any rumours about her. As I watch her walk into her building, I wonder if it’s because thereareno rumours or because I haven’t asked anyone about what’s happening in her life.

Maybe to protect my feelings from hearing about her and other men? Or because I don’t really care?

Restlessness sets in when I’m back in the car. The lack of tension andwantbetween us.Maybe it’s something that will come, a solid, intimate relationship that will build as we get to know each other that way.

A very vanilla relationship.

Fuck…

Forty Three

Catriona

Bloodshot eyes, hair sticking out in all directions, the normally perfectly fitted suit that today somehow seemsoff.

And he avoids looking at me.

Yeah, he appears just like he should the day after a hot date.What a cowardly bastard!

It is a relief to feel anger replace some of the debilitating pain. Anger that only grows every minute Rian stays in his office behind the closed door.

I let him settle for half an hour, thirty angry minutes during which he could come clean with me – but nothing. I refuse to sit and feel like crap, so I take a file from my desk and walk into his office, not waiting for an answer when I knock.

His head, buried in his hands, shoots up, and a whole array of emotions flicker across his face. His chest rises on a deep breath as he smiles up at me. The smile is too bright, with worry and guilt swimming in his eyes instead of the mischief and lust I’ve become so used to.

“Morning, Catriona.”

Only days ago, his low timbre would have made me clench my legs together. Now I clench my teeth.

“Morning, Rian.”

“What can I do for you?”

Coward.