Page 67 of Tangled Control

Will you be there for me when he breaks my heart?

I’ll always be there for you.

This time, I can’t hold back the tears, but curl up on the sofa, sobbing.

When my tears subside, I feel strangely calm. The guilt I’ve been carrying over the last weeks has worn me down. Coming clean has lifted that constant ache. Although it might be the opposite of what Mum wanted, knowing that she’ll be there for me makes me want to dive into my relationship with Rian even more.

You only live once. What’s the point of holding back?

Thirty Eight

Catriona

“Sorry to interrupt!”

Rian stops mid-sentence as a tall brunette makes her way through the open office, waving at Orla before she reaches us.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she repeats, a big smile on her face as she stretches up and kisses Rian’s cheek. I would have been jealous if I hadn’t recognised her.

“What’s up, Rosie?” Rian grunts.

“Well, I was hoping to steal my brother for lunch.”

“You paying?” he deadpans.

“Hell no! I was just in Dad’s office trying to persuade him to increase my allowance, and until he does, you’ll be buying me lunch!” Her pearly laugh is contagious, and both Gemma and Mona grin up at her, while Trevor seems starstruck by her dazzling persona. I’ve been in Rosie’s presence a few times, but I’ve never spoken to her. She has a carefree dizziness about her that makes her appear anchorless.

“You have us all wrapped around your finger, you know that?”

“Yes, I do.” Rosie tosses her thick dark hair over her shoulder and gives the rest of us an unapologetic shrug followed by that laugh.

“It appears we have to finish this update later,” Rian tells us with an exaggerated sigh. He’s done more of that lately – talking to us outside of his office instead of sitting behind his desk and pretending to be the big boss. “What do you need the money for anyway?” he adds.

“Oh! I’ve found the perfect dress for the spring barbeque, and I just have to have it!”

“Really?” Gemma chimes in, all excited. “What does it look like?”

“Well, it’s a knee-length dark yellow, almost amber-like Ralph Lauren dress with a lace top and a white belt,” Rosie explains, illustrating with lots of hand movements.

“I know the one you’re talking about,” Mona says eagerly. “I saw it featured on this blog I’m following. It’s stunning and it’ll be perfect for the barbeque.”

Rosie grabs Mona’s arm. “Aww, I wish Dad had the same sense as you! Are you all going to the barbeque?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Gemma exclaims, pressing her palm to her chest. “I haven’t decided what to wear, though. I was considering maybe wearing dressy trousers, but where’s the fun in that?”

“I agree,” Trevor interrupts. “I’ve considered not wearing trousers this year as well.”

“I dare you!” Rosie glances at him under long eyelashes and pushing his shoulder playfully. The poor man blushes, yet I notice how he stands a bit taller and puffs up his chest. He’s finally taken the hint and stopped his relentless attempts to get me out on a date. I don’t know what made him stop, but I alsodon’t care as long as he leaves me alone. And by the look of things, he seems to have got over me pretty fast.

As the others continue their fashion banter, I feel out of place. I don’t usually pay much attention to fashion – what’s the point when I can’t afford it? I try to tell myself it doesn’t matter that I can’t participate in the conversation – I’m not going to the barbeque anyway.

“Miss Taylor.” Rian’s voice slices through my thoughts. “Let me give you the marketing file before I head out to pay for my sister’s lunch.”

“Certainly, sir.”

Following him into his office, I take in how stylish he is in his designer suit and shiny leather shoes. What is he doing with me? He can have any woman much more fashionable than me. He’s way out of my league. Would he ever acknowledge our relationship in public? I’ve been just as willing as him to keep our affair under wraps, but at what point will it be appropriate to tell people? Is there an end date for the secrecy? Or is the end date the same as the end date of our relationship?

Old doubts seep in through cracks in my confidence.