Page 62 of Tangled Control

Knox and Dylan are getting ready to leave a few rounds later. I didn’t win any.

“You’d better come for lunch tomorrow, Knox. I need a buffer between me and Dad. Last week was a fecking shitshow.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad,” Knox says, stretching his back after sitting for so long.

“I’m meeting Jennie and Alexandra tomorrow evening for drinks, why don’t you come and join us afterwards?” Dylan suggests halfway through the door.

“I’m up for that,” I say before I can change my mind. I told Catriona we couldn’t meet tomorrow, so I’ll be free. Although seeing Alexandra feels like cheating on Catriona. Fuck, seeing Catriona feels like cheating on Alexandra. And I still feel bad about standing Alexandra up the other night.

Leo and I settle in more comfortable chairs in the living room and start in on another bottle of whiskey, although we’re both already well sauced. The way things are going, I may end up sleeping on the couch tonight.

“So, things are good with you and Anika?”

Leo leans back in the chair with a disgustingly dreamy sigh. “She’s unreal. Devine.Perfetto.All I’ve gotten so far, after two dates, is a pretty innocent kiss. She knows how to play – she wraps me around her little finger and gives me breadcrumbs to keep me interested, and I love it!” He laughs happily. “If she submits the next time we meet and lets me fuck her, I’ll be totally disappointed. I like this game.” He glances at me. “I guess you know what I’m talking about. You and Alexandra have been playing it for the last ten years or so. Does it ever get old?”

The comment is like a slap to the face.Does it ever get old?

I have yet to get a couple of kisses, innocent or not, from Alexandra since our break-up as teenagers. More than ten years and not a kiss. I’ve been content with the waiting game. Thewhiskey swirls in my tumbler, rising up the sides, threatening to spill over.

“No, it doesn’t get old,” I eventually say quietly.

“But…?”

“But…it may be difficult not to get attracted to someone else while waiting.”

There, I said it.

Leo sits up in his chair, a strange mix of excitement and worry flashing across his face. “Somehow I don’t think you’re talking about the usual birds you flirt with in your office.”

“No…well, she’s actually from the office. But she’s not one of those I take to events, no.”

“She’s the reason you didn’t come to the ballet last week,” Leo states, before snorting. “I was wondering why you so willingly set me up with Anika. Have I met this chick? She’s not one of the girls I’ve had my paws on at the spring BBQ, is she?” he adds in pretend disgust.

I shake my head with a smirk, remembering how Leo described Catriona as a lesbian with the personality of a brick.

“Does she know about Alexandra?”

“Yes.” A zap pierces my stomach, and I try to numb it by taking another big gulp of my drink. All this guilt is driving me mental. “If you’re serious about Anika, then I recommend that you move forward sooner rather than later.” My tone turns gruff. “If not, you may break a few hearts on the way, your own included.”

“Fuck, Ri! You’re in deep, aren’t you?”

My silence is answer enough.

Leo runs his hand over his mouth. “You know I’ve always cheered for you and Alexandra, but maybe you should think about this? Is Alexandra really the woman for you?”

“Shut up, you know she is,” I snap. “We’re meant to be, we always were. If not for all-consuming love, then for business.KSS and Calla are a match made in heaven. There’s no other way.”

“Then why don’t you sound happy about it?”

“Happy? I’ve always wanted Alexandra. Sheismy dream woman. Someone else may have captured my attention for a little while, but there’s no one but Alexandra for me.” I run my fingers through my hair. “She’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“So, you’re going to continue seeing this other woman, even though you’re determined to end up with Alexandra?”

“Yes.” I squeeze my eyes shut. When I feel I’ve got control of my voice, I continue. “Alexandra hasn’t shown any signs yet that she’s ready to take the next step, and by the time she does, I’ll probably be completely over this woman.”

I don’t know if I’ve convinced Leo, and I’m not sure if I have convinced myself either.

Leo doesn’t respond for a while, a frown between his eyebrows. “Be careful, Rian. Your absence at the ballet was noted. Play your cards right or you may end up losing your whole hand.”