Page 50 of Tangled Control

He gently turns me around, but I keep my gaze trained to the floor. I don’t dare to look at him, afraid I’ll start crying. I don’t want him to know how I feel, to show him that he’s won, yet I slowly lift my eyes to his, my gaze all watery.

“I’ve failed.”

“Failed what?”

“I’ve become my mother.”

“What do you mean?” Rian says patiently, although he looks like he wants to shake me.

I take a deep breath. “I thought I was strong, that what we did…was just for fun. But I wasn’t strong enough.”

The dam finally breaks and tears burn paths down my cheeks. I lower my head again, too scared to see his reaction when I crack my chest wide open and whisper, “I’ve fallen for you.”

His sharp intake of air is the only sound in the room. I swallow my sob.

“I’ll ask for a transfer,” I continue. “I can move to another branch, so I don’t have to run into you every day.”

“No.” His grip on my shoulders tightens.

“I—”

“No!” he barks. “You will do no such thing. I need you! I can’t do it without you.”

“Rian, you don’tneedme. With a little effort on your part, you can train any of the assistants to do my job.”

I try to twist out of his hold, but he doesn’t let me.

“That’s not what I mean.” He swallows and his features soften. “I-I needyou. I need to know that you’ll be there whenI come in every morning. To see you at your desk. To know that you’ll give me a hard time, yell at me, challenge me.”

“Rian, please don’t. It’ll break me, seeing you…” My words stop on a hitch.

He opens his mouth, but no words come. His eyes flick between mine. “I-I feel for you too.”

“Rian?”

“I don’t know what – I mean, Jesus…” He huffs. “All I know is that I’ve never been this obsessed with anyone. Ever. I think about you all the time. And…and the thought of not seeing you every dayhurts.”

He releases his grip on my shoulders and cups my face. His thumbs brush my tears away. Leaning his forehead against mine, he whispers, “I’m not ready to let you go. Please can we…can we see where this takes us? Give it a shot? I can’t promise that we will…work out, but just don’t leave, Cat.”

My heart races, my mind and body a cocktail of confusion - a mix of doubt and hope, despair and ecstasy. His thumbs gently stroke my cheeks as we breathe in the same air. So much unknown. Can I really do this?

Rian lowers his head. I still, don’t move a muscle, as I watch him come closer. My lips part and tingle in anticipation. I silently gasp as his mouth presses so gently against mine. For the first time. He kisses me again, and again. My insides are sizzling, but the kisses stay innocent and sweet.

“I want you so much.” His gruff words stoke the fire within me, setting me ablaze. I tilt my head to the side and push up on my toes. He moans when my tongue finds his. I fist his hair, tugging at the dark strands, scraping my nails along his scalp. I’m desperate to touch him – he’s never allowed me to during any of our encounters. I want his skin under my palms. My hands trail down, only to be met with the stiff collar of his shirt.

“You’re all dressed up,” I whisper breathlessly. “You’re on your way somewhere.”

“I cancelled.”

“Thank fuck. Get this off.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I sense his smile against my lips as he helps me push his jacket off his shoulders. I pull at his bow tie and then we’re both tackling the buttons on his shirt. Millions of them! With a huff, Rian grabs the hem and yanks the crisp, white shirt over his head. One of the cuffs gets stuck around his wrist. I miss out on important kissing time as I try to help him.

“Who the feck wears cufflinks these days?”

“Snobby rich boys like me.” Rian grins and I snort.