Page 18 of Tangled Control

“No, thankfully not. Mona has, though.”

Impulsively, I grab Gemma’s hand and ask quietly, “Are we okay?”

“Of course we are.” She squeezes my hand back and gives me one of her sincere, bright smiles.

Fourteen

Rian

Even Alexandra’s soft laughter can’t shift my mood after being ripped a new one by Dad before I left work. He probably heard rumours that I took Linda to the gallery last night. What would he have said had he known… If Catriona had reported me.

I wonder howIwould have reacted if she had. Would I have tried to sink Catriona in an attempt to save myself? I hope not. I hope I’m a better person than that. But you don’t know, do you, until you’re in that situation? Sink or swim, attack or sacrifice. I used to be so sure of myself, but these last months, I’ve questioned everything about me, about my future. It’s all so bleak.

That’s probably why I have this obsession with Catriona. She’s my only challenge and the only thing that gives my day a little colour. Everything is back to business as usual between us – I’ve followed her lead and treat her with my usual contempt. It’s as if the spanking never happened.

And she’s coming in to work tomorrow. There’s a sick sense of satisfaction for having prevented herdate.

“Rian?”

“Sorry?” I snap out of my head.

Alexandra sets her gin glass down on the table. The diamonds in her drop earrings sparkle in the reflection of the chandeliers as she tilts her head to the side. “You seem far away.”

I like that about Alexandra – she doesn’t demand to know what I’m thinking, just gives me an opening in case I want to talk. I don’t. Hell, Alexandra is the last person I want to discuss myissueswith.

I finish my wine. I feel exposed in the grandeur of the Shelbourn bar with its open space, high ceilings and large windows onto St. Stephen’s Green. It’s a place people go to see and be seen. I crave a dirty old pub where I can hide in a dark snug with a perfectly pulled pint of Guinness that shares the colour of my mood.

“Sorry, yes, I’m not quite here tonight.” I look away as Alexandra’s perceptive green eyes take me in. Lifting my glass to Leo at the other side of the table, I give him half smile. “I’m going to head home. Don’t want to ruin your night with my shitty mood.”

“You okay, Ri?” Leo asks, his brows furrowed.

“I’m grand, just Dad on my case again.”Among other things.

Leo huffs and changes the topic. “Will you be joining us for Dylan’s match on Saturday?”

“Ach, fuck, sorry. I’ve got to work Saturday.”

“Oh.” Alexandra cocks her head every so slightly.

I step off my stool and clear my throat as I tap my fingers on the table. “But sure, um, I could meet you after?”

“That would be lovely. See you then, Rian.”

I feel Alexandra’s eyes on me, long after I’ve left the bar.

Fifteen

Catriona

“Ihave to take this,” Rian says and gets up from the conference table, his phone to his ear. His shoulders stretch his white shirt just right and his charcoal trousers mould around his firm butt as he walks to the door. “Hi… Yes, I’m still up for tonight… I’ll meet you there… No, I’m still in the office… Yes, Iknowit’s Saturday. Some of us actually take our jobs seriously…”

I roll my eyes as his voice grows faint when he leaves his office. This is the first time I’ve ever seen Rian take his job this seriously. My knees creak as I get up from my chair, my body sore from sitting for so long. I stretch my neck to the side as I stop in front of the windows. The early evening light is darkening quickly with incoming clouds. I should take the bus home instead of walking if Rian ever calls it a day.

We’ve been here for several hours already, first some preparatory work with just Rian, Mona and me. At four thirty, the O’Toole delegation arrived and initial discussions began. There was a lot to go through – Rian was adamant we give them every option we have to offer. With a laser-sharp focus, heguided the delegation through the different sections, ensuring we stayed on topic and didn’t digress. The meeting finally ended close to two hours later. Although nothing was signed, I would call it a success.

I volunteered to stay and write up the notes, letting a relieved Mona head home to start her weekend.

The surprise came when Rian said he’d stay behind too. Apparently because he couldn’t face listening to me complaining about having to do all the work on my own.