Page 19 of Bikar

He looks terrified, and it’s enough that even Heather has a little sympathy for him. “Don’t worry, Winged Wanker. She just sucked some spit down the wrong pipe. She’ll be fine in a minute.”

Her utterance of Bikar’s new nickname sends me into another fit of choked laughter, and I watch him sit there helplessly through watering eyes. Eventually, I calm down enough to articulate. “Winged Wanker? Seriously, Heather? Where the hell do you come up with this stuff?”

Sassily flipping her long hair over one shoulder, she laughs at me while buffing her nails and examining them nonchalantly. “It’s just one of my many talents.”

Taking a deep breath in, I try to slow my breathing and racing heart. “Shoebuddy, with entertainment like this, who needs pretend coffee?”

Bikar’s attention wavers for a second with my comment, and I realize he’s researching something. Heather—not one slow on the uptake—notices his inattention as well, and looks over at me with a quirked eyebrow.

Answering her wordless question, I reply. “From what I’ve been able to figure out, he’s part computer, and that data block thingie he went to all the trouble of getting contained everything about humanity on it. And I do meaneverything.When he gets that faraway look, he’s researching something I’ve said or looking for contextual clues.”

Heather’s mouth drops open in shock for a moment before she snaps it closed, looking back and forth between Bikar and me with narrowed eyes. “You’re telling me this moron is actually smart?”

Snickering at her quip, I lean forward and conspiratorially whisper, “Heather Feather, he made me ice cream in the replicator last night.”

“He WHAT?” Shooting out of her chair, she steps around the table and pokes Bikar in the middle of his broad chest over and over until she gets his attention. Jerking his head to the side, black vertical pupils flare when he sees Heather glaring up at him. Gold eyes flit over to me, caution deep within them, before peering back at the intense woman hovering over him, both hands perched sassily on her hips.

Without anywhere to go, he leans back in his chair, trying to distance himself from her the best he can. “Good rising, Heather. Is there something I can be of assistance with?”

The fact that his voice cracked when he spoke makes me snicker at his expense. Heather stomps a pseudo-designer-clad foot. “My bestest best friend in the whole wide galaxy just told me you made her ice cream last night, and that you somehow have every piece of info about humans at your disposal up there in your big head. Is that true?”

Wariness enters his eyes, and his answer is hesitant yet decisive. “Yes, that is all factual information.”

“Well, chop chop. Time is of the essence. Bitches needreal coffee.”She pauses with a playful smirk before continuing. “It’s me. I’m bitches. We won’t be drinking this pretend sludge we’ve all been making do with anymore. Get to googling, or whatever it is that you do, a place calledStarbucksand put their entire menu in that replicator, or so help me God….”

Bikar is rubbing his nose like he’s trying to keep himself from laughing at how over-the-top dramatic Heather is being. By the time she’s done talking, I’m laughing so hard I’m crying and can’t breathe again. Bikar looks over at me with a bemused expression like he can’t believe that just happened. Shaking my head, I finally calm down enough to talk. “Don’t look at me. You heard the woman. She takes her coffee very seriously.”

His exaggerated sigh of resignation sends me into another round of giggles, and I watch Heather follow him to the replicator, listing restaurant after restaurant menu to him as they go.

Well, at least I don’t have to worry about my bestie and my… whatever he is getting along.

CHAPTER 18

BIKAR

Having the fast-breaking meal with my mate and her friend was an eye-opening experience. The two females have many similar personality traits when they are together, but react completely differently in the presence of males. It is obvious they have grown extremely close, and for that I am glad. It is good that Bambi has a friend so dear to her after all she has been through.

Secretly, I think Heather is the real reason my mate is giving me a chance to woo her, though I am certain the sharp-tongued female would never admit to such a thing. For that, I will always treat her with the utmost respect. In hindsight, I am glad I did not follow through with trying to separate my mate from her friend.

I also did not realize there was such diversity to a human’s diet until Heather prodded me into adding everything she firmly suggested to the replicator catalogue. Not that I was going to deny her requests. Though she is much smaller than me, I have no doubt she would follow through with her threats of bodily harm. My calculations determined she would be wildly successful at making me suffer. The growl she let out when Ihanded her theStarbucksshe wanted made my dorsal spines rattle.

Even though she keeps threatening me with gratuitous violence, I am fairly certain it is how she shows affection.

Heather further instructed me on an icedcoffeebeverage with something calledcold brewin it, which she assured me my mate would adore. Watching Bambi’s eyes widen in pleasure at her first tentative sip made my chest swell with pride. It solidifies what my brain quantified earlier: Heather is to be kept content, as she is a valuable ally in the campaign to woo my Starshine.

Watching Bambi savor the first meal of the rotation, along with herfancy coffee,fills me with primal satisfaction.

I finally did something correct.

After the females finish their food, I reach for their plates despite their insistence that I do not have to clean up after them, and take the residue back to the replicator.

Resuming my seat next to my mate, I voice the question that has plagued me for most of the meal while they chattered happily back and forth.

“What do you and the other humans do for entertainment?”

Bambi and Heather pause mid-conversation. Clarifying, I continue. “I know that Rowan, Ruby, and Gwen have tablets they are using to learn more about their new world, but I do not know what either of you have access to for entertainment purposes. I have not seen you with a data pad or tablet to date.”

They look at each other before my mate shrugs. “Gwen’s let us borrow her tablet a couple of times, but other than that, not much.” Bambi waves over at Heather. “Neither of us knew Rowan and Ruby well enough at the time to ask favors, so we didn’t bug them about getting tablets of our own. It seemed a little ungracious to ask for extras after all the work y’all did to save our lives.”