Page 109 of The Widower of Pemberley
That how she saw her own sister was strongly affected by knowing that Jane had captured the affections of a wealthy and handsome gentleman was not a thing about herself that Elizabeth was wholly comfortable with.
She liked to think of herself as such a keen judge of character, and she had not seen the flaws in herself.
Doctor, heal thyself,or some equally trite notion.
For her own part, Elizabeth found herself little able to eat at breakfast for a second day in a row.
It was very early, she knew, for such thoughts, but a little part of Elizabeth could not help but hope that she was at last increasing. As much as her husband insisted that the time had been much too short since they had married for there to be any concernupon the subject of having children, a great part of Elizabeth really did see one of her foremost purposes in life was to produce a son for Darcy, especially since she loved him so much and wanted to make him happy.
Lord! She really had more of her mother’s nature in her own character than she liked to imagine.
That thought made Elizabeth laugh, which garnered enquiries from the others at the table.
Elizabeth replied, “I only just realised how much like my mother I can be at times.”
Darcy’s face was aghast at the thought. “You are not much like her.”
Jane though nodded. “Would it not be unnatural if the connection of blood, and many years of being raised by her, left no influence?”
Georgiana interjected, “At least I think I am nothing likemymama was.”
“You are at times,” Darcy said to her, laughing. “You certainly can be—you sometimes, when particularly determined or angry, have that same expression and way of speaking that both Mama and Lady Catherine would display.”
“No!”
“Oh yes. Of a certainty.” Darcy grinned at his sister. “I am the most fortunate one in this room, for I have always liked to notice the features of my father in myself.”
“Youalso can be like Mama,” Georgiana instantly replied.
Darcy shrugged. “It would, as Jane said, be unnatural if there were no points of similarity. But Elizabeth, what specifics did you base this likeness upon?”
She flushed. It was not the time for any such announcements. “I shall tell you this evening.”
“But I want to know,” Georgiana whined.
Jane smiled serenely.
She smiled a great deal during the morning.
There was a sort of air to Jane, one of expectant waiting.
Elizabeth did sit near her sister, and as she always had since Jane had become blind, kept herself in readiness to hand little objects to her, to fetch her water, to help lead her to the water closet, or to stir her tea for her.
It was a sort of melancholy sensation to be aware that she may soon give up this position—but really, she already had. She had been at Pemberley for several months, and in all the conversations with Jane since, her sister had never expressed any sense of having been neglected without her there to ensure she was cared for.
“I missed you, Jane!” Elizabeth exclaimed suddenly as they were sitting alone in the drawing room later that morning. “So very much.”
Her sister looked towards her and flashed a sweet and warm smile. “Lizzy, I missed you as well. And even though I miss Longbourn, I am so happy to be here with you. You are happy?”
“Well, yes.”
“I only fretted—a great deal at first when you did not write so often as I expected in the first month that you were at Pemberley.”
“You did?” Elizabeth replied. “But I cannot be surprised—I had some difficulty at the time determining how I would live at Pemberley. I was committed to meeting every obligation. But assoon as Darcy understood my difficulties, he helped. I do so like having such an excellent husband.”
“You see, I had feared that you would never speak of him in such a way. But you are filled with happiness, and Mr. Darcy is clearly happy with you as well. It is in the tones of both your voices.”
Elizabeth blushed, and she was a little glad that Jane could not see her embarrassment at hearing this said. “Well, I told you all along that there was nothing to be concerned about.”
