Page 51 of A Quiet Affection

This made Wickham notice her as a woman who might be worthy of his attentions. It was impossible for him to treat a girl generally acknowledged to be pretty in the way he would treat one considered ugly.

Matters would have gone no further if Wickham did not angrily and continuously watch Fitzwilliam from the cornerof his eye and fantasize about ways to make him miserable. Wickham noticed that Fitzwilliam’s eyes habitually drifted to no-longer-so-little Elizabeth Bennet’s now-acknowledged-to-be-pretty form.

When she sang and played, as Mr. Darcy frequently requested, he did not even attempt to disguise his rapt attention.

Lord. What a joke.

What a ridiculous, silly, nonsensical joke.

Fitzwilliam, after years of allowing her to hang out about him, and indulging her whims, and always talking to her, after all that he had fallen in love with the chit. He really was preparing to make such a fool of himself.

He might even, one day, offer for her.

After his father was safely dead, of course. The old man would be furious if Fitzwilliam attempted to marry the girl while he was alive.

At first Wickham had a vague notion that a match between his wife’s sister and the master of Pemberley could only be to his benefit. Fitzwilliam would then always have some interest in the wellbeing of his house, as much as they hated each other.

After a few days this idea was replaced with a sharp and precise plan to hurt Fitzwilliam.

He would seduce Miss Elizabeth.

Take her maidenhood, ruin her for all the world. Maybe he’d even manage to put a child in her. Once Mr. Darcy was dead, he’d tell Fitzwilliam. He imagined whispering it into his ear as they watched the dirt being tossed onto the casket.

And the act would show scorn for Jane. He would prove to himself that he was not like his father.

His mother had brought her lovers into the same bed that she’d shared with his father. So, Wickham had already rutted with Submit in Jane’s bed.

He was the man. He was the master of his own house. He would never show undue respect to a woman.

Seducing his wife’s sister, also enjoyingherin their marital bed. That would prove to everyone what sort of man he was.

Wickham’s mouth went dry at the thought of it.

His efforts to seduce Miss Elizabeth, however, made no progress.

It was the cursed blindness.

He’d never realized how utterly inconvenient it was for a girl to be blind. Wickham was used to putting his excellent appearance, his way of holding himself, his ability to smile and look properly to excellent use. Yes, of course, the voice and the words he said were part of the process of seduction, but they were only a small part.

And when he casually touched her, in a way that might excite her, it was clear enough that Miss Elizabeth was made uncomfortable by his touch. His words of flattery made no impression. When he teased her, she laughed but she did not tease him in return. She looked very good when she laughed, and at those times when she laughed in company, Fitzwilliam’s eyes were glued upon her.

However, she neverrelaxedaround Wickham.

Her tenseness was not that of a maiden who was frightened that her feelings might cause her to behave in a way that she would regret. It had more similarity to that of a farmer who hoped to get as little on his clothes as possible while he shoveled manure.

Perhaps it says much about Wickham’s true sentiments regarding himself that he was so willing to think of this as an analogy for how a woman reacted to him.

He began to despise Elizabeth for her insensibility. He despised her for not craving his touch. And he despised her for her clear fondness for Fitzwilliam. It was likely that she was in love with him.

While obvious rank nonsense from the perspective of wealth, connections, and equality, such a match would in fact make much sense in so far as long-standing connection and friendship, and delight in each other’s company could give cause for a marriage.

Wickham wished he could hurt Elizabeth. But the fact that she was so dear to Fitzwilliam made him hesitate.

As a man with little taste for prolonged labors without any certainty of success, Wickham had already given up the scheme of seducing her, when Elizabeth Bennet approached him one day, while he was alone in the drawing room, to confront him about Submit Jones.

Chapter Sixteen

A nighttime desire for a glass of water, one which Elizabeth did not acquire, was the source of her knowledge.