Page 35 of A Quiet Affection

“I ought to see Georgiana. I do not even know if she knows that I am returned. I snuck in to see Papa without having myself announced. Come with me; it is now too cold to remain outside.”

As she stood up and took Fitzwilliam’s arm, Elizabeth asked, “Do you think you can convince your father to abandon this scheme of sending Georgiana off to some school as soon as the wedding happens?”

“Which wedding?” Fitzwilliam asked. “I did not know there is to be a wedding, and what has Georgiana to do with it at all?”

“Jane and Wickham,” Elizabeth replied. “I am surprised Mr. Darcy did not mention it during his conversation with you, as I think he is more delighted by it than the couple themselves.”

Fitzwilliam was utterly quiet as they walked up to the entrance to the house. As soon as they stepped indoors, he said in precise tones, “Miss Bennet and George Wickham are to marry? Do I understand you correctly?”

“Jane, and your father’s godson. Surely you didn’t think that Jane would be marrying old Mr. Wickham,” Elizabeth laughed at the notion.

“I thought nothing of the sort.Janeis to marry George? Your sister? Miss Bennet andhim? And my father has given his permission.”

“I don’t think there is any other Jane about. Jane said that your father arranged it. He called them to his study after he announced his illness and simply told them that they now would marry, and before he died, and what the arrangements for how they would live would be.”

Fitzwilliam was quiet.

A sick suspicion began to grow in Elizabeth’s chest.

Why did he care so much about hearing that Jane would be married?

He said at last, “No, no. I cannot let this happen. I cannot let Miss Bennet marry him.”

He must be in love with Jane.

Simply speaking the idea to herself was enough to make it seem certain in Elizabeth’s mind.

Everyone said she was so beautiful. Fitzwilliam could see her. Jane’s voice was beautiful. And her manners soft and always ladylike, and always what they should be. Damn her. She was always so lucky. And now evenFitzwilliamloved her.

Had Elizabeth been able to claw her sister’s face at this instant, she happily would have.

What doubt she had on the question of whether he was in love with Jane was removed when Fitzwilliam added, “I should have spoken before I left! If only I had! I thought there would be ample time when I returned. This is my punishment for such hesitation and delay. But nothing has yet happened that cannot be changed. I am glad that I have returned in time. Lizzy, I must speak to my father immediately.”

He not only loved her. He was so driven by that feeling that he still hoped to marry her, even after he knew that she was engaged to another man. That was what Elizabeth believed this meant.

Fitzwilliam took another deep breath to settle himself, and then he quickly walked away. Possibly had he not been so absorbed by the immediate necessity of an unpleasant conversation with his father, he would have noticed the odd expression on Lizzy’s face. But he was so absorbed, and it of course did not occur to him that Elizabeth Bennet was presently both realizing the full strength of her admiration for him and feeling a sharper burn of jealousy than she had imagined possible.

Damn, damn, damn Jane.

Jane hadn’t even tried to attract Fitzwilliam. Elizabeth knew that. She had simply been herself. It wouldn’t be right for Elizabeth to hate her.

Or to murder her in her bed.

Ridiculous. The blind girl falling in love with the heir of the great house.

And everyone said that Fitzwilliam was particularly handsome. That was not fair to the rest of the world. As a blind woman, shehad a duty to fall in love with someone particularly ugly, since it could not bother her.

She was sure she would marry someone particularly hideous, but also clever in their conversation someday, after she had somehow learned to again see Fitzwilliam merely as a friend.

Elizabeth tried to remember her father’s voice. She imagined him teasing her, making fun of her.

It really was, if she thought about it in the correct way, quite funny that she had fallen in love with a man who was in love with Jane. Quite ironic.

It would be best for Jane.

Yes, yes, if Fitzwilliam could convince Jane to end her engagement with Wickham, and then married her for himself, Elizabeth was sure that Jane would be far happier.Anyonewould be happy married to Fitzwilliam. He was so kind, so thoughtful, so intelligent, and he often needed someone to comfort him.

Could Jane do that? Could Jane understand him?