Page 25 of A Quiet Affection

But, when Elizabeth seriously considered informing Mr. Darcy about his godson’s behavior, it became impossible. Mr. Darcy was too solemn, and he would wish to know why she snuck about so that she could hear such things. It would raise questions about her own behavior. He would think that hearing a couple engaged in illicit amorous activities was a stain upon Elizabeth’s own character. He would tell her to stop behaving in such a way, since she would be a burden upon Jane.

Further, Elizabeth considered it deeply unwise to make a serious enemy of George. Her blindness made her particularly vulnerable to the sorts of mean pranks that she suspected George to be an expert in.

Chapter Seven

A span of years shall now pass, and the date changes from the summer of 1804 to the fall of 1806.

During this time George Wickham and Fitzwilliam lived in the same apartments, and George managed to lose all the considerable respect and affection that Darcy had held for his childhood companion. Darcy considered him a man of dissolute character, poor judgement, and dishonest habits.

The death of Wickham’s mother occurred while he was Cambridge. She died as she had lived, in a drunken accident while her lover raced a friend with her in the curricle.

George Wickham was struck by grief, but it passed soon enough. I do not blame him for this. It is the place of the young to move on from the deaths of their parents. They should remember with respect, love, fondness, and occasional tears, but the future belongs to the child, and they must think upon this future. This is how young Mr. Wickham behaved after his mother’s death.

George knew that his mother would have wished him to think of her with happiness and delight, and so he did, when he remembered her.

His father was struck by the death of his wife far more severely than his son. Old Mr. Wickham went through his duties to Mr. Darcy in a slow, stiff manner, and when he ate it was in the manner of one who had to remind himself to do a task that brought him no pleasure.

When Darcy finished his time at university, he was determined, among other things, to soon find an opportunity to speak with his father about Wickham’s future. The promise to botheducate and provide for Wickham could not be undone. That was a matter of honor, and it must be fulfilled. But the church was no proper place forthatgentleman. Wickham should be given the support to study law or enter the army. While Darcy thought that his childhood friend would prove to be a stain and a discredit to any respectable profession, the peculiar role and nature of the clergy made it of the first importance that men of particularly poor character be kept from it.

After the receipt of his baccalaureate, Darcy was only present at Pemberley for a handful of days before setting off on a tour of Sweden, Denmark, and Russia that his father insisted he take, as it would do more to give him the polish and awareness of the manners of other nations than a short tour around the lakes and peaks that many had preferred since access to France was impossible at present.

His friend Bingley was to accompany him, interrupting his own schooling to enjoy a more important planned year of adventure. Darcy noticed that when they arrived at Pemberley, his friend was most struck by the appearance of Jane Bennet.

However, this progressed towards nothing at the time, as Bingley was rather shy with the pretty girl, and much too young to have a serious thought about any girls in any case, and their residence at Pemberley only lasted a brief time.

Darcy only had a few opportunities to speak with his father, and in none of them was there a natural moment to begin the discussion of a matter that would be painful and difficult to speak of. Therefore, the need to explain what he had learned of Wickham’s character remained in Darcy’s head as an unfinished thing, bothering him until he’d halfway crossed to Sweden. There was in fact no hurry. Mr. Wickham would not graduate for two years, and it would be only then that the choice of his future profession would determine the young reprobate’s next steps.

Papa looked different, thinner than he’d seemed at Christmas. He was more easily tired, and his hair was turning white. He several times pressed his side in a manner that suggested pain. But when Darcy had asked his father about this, he had received sharp rebukes.

Darcy could not believe that his father would send him away—for it was Papa’s idea that his son travel—if there had been anything seriously amiss with his health. But seeing Papa so much older than ever before was painful.

There was also a conversation with Lizzy that he found difficult.

She was nearly fifteen and she had begun to bloom into a woman. When she gave him her ordinary embrace upon his arrival at Pemberley, he became particularly aware of this. The realization that this friend of his childhood was no longer a child herself made him uncomfortable.

Lizzy had changed.

While she still had enthusiasm, confidence, and spirit in her manner, she had also become more demure; she showed more of the manners of a young lady, and also the sweetness of one. She no longer wished to climb trees, to muddy herself in streams, and she told him that she had ceased to sneak about the estate at night. When Lizzy spoke with Miss Bennet, as Darcy had at some point begun to think of Jane, they often discussed fashion and clothes.

The occasional tantrums and childish eruptions had entirely disappeared.

Lizzy dressed well, and from how well chosen her colors were, one could not guess that she had no ability to see what they were.

He was proud to see how well she had grown, thinking that the regular letters they had shared for the last three years had played some important part in forming her character.

Certain things must, however, come to an end.

“Lizzy, it would be best if you do not send me any letters while I am in Scandinavia,” Darcy told her the day before he departed, while they sat together on a brick planter next to a rosebush.

“What?—ouch.” Elizabeth turned so suddenly away from the rose that she had been sniffing that she caught her finger against one of the thorns and started to suck it. “Whatever do you mean? We always share letters.”

“You are not a child anymore. By the time I return, you will be a young Miss. It would not be proper for us to continue to correspond.”

She did not reply.

“I am saying this for—”

“No, but what do you mean? You cannot mean that we will not write. No, no. I was already unhappy that you would not be here for the summer. You cannot mean that.”