Page 17 of A Quiet Affection

“She will be fifteen in only two months,” Lady Catherine replied.

“I do not like these early marriages. No, I would not see my son marry a girl until she was at least seventeen, and better eighteen, or even twenty. The nature of a person is not settled until they reach such ages.”

“Nonsense,” Lady Catherine exclaimed. “I was sixteen when I married Sir Lewis. And I was of a full age to do so, and aware of what I did, and he as well.”

Lord Matlock said something that Elizabeth did not catch, but which made his sister laugh, and Mr. Darcy to dryly chuckle.

“But seriously,” Lady Catherine said, “when he arrives, you must make your son to understand that you would like him to marry Anne—I do not like such delay as you suggest, but if you mean to make them wait, it would be best if a firm engagement was formed now, when—”

“No. Whether he wishes to marry Anne or not shall be his choice, when the time comes. I expect him to choose his own partner in life, as I did.”

“Now, Darcy,” Lord Matlock said, “you know young men are often wild and foolish. The time of love in the heart, and women can—”

“The Darcy blood in him will give him control over his instincts. You assume it is impossible because you have never made the effort to control yourself,” Mr. Darcy replied sharply.

Lady Catherine asked, “And if Jane Bennet sets her cap for him?”

“She will not. She knows better than to presume above her station. And I have my own plans for Miss Bennet—the only unfortunate aspect is that Miss Elizabeth will always be a burden for her.”

“What nonsense,” Lady Catherine replied. “How is she a burden? The blind can be perfectly useful. You have already taught her to sew and to play music. Miss Elizabeth is a clever girl and willing to be of use. I like her better than most.”

This praise from Lady Catherine surprised Elizabeth enormously.

She thought that the notion that Fitzwilliam might have an interest in Jane was nonsense. Fitzwilliam was far too intelligent to think highly of Jane, no matter how pretty she was. He was a philosopher; that meant that he was able to penetrate to the heart of matters, and the heart of the matter was that Jane was a terrible sister, and deeply selfish.

In these thoughts Elizabeth was mistaken; Jane Bennet, despite her deficiencies, had far less of selfishness than most women. And intelligence and the study of philosophy has never been any protection to a young man from the appeal of a particularly pretty girl.

But, when Fitzwilliam arrived, it proved the case that he didnothave any interest in either Jane or Anne de Bourgh.

He spent a great deal of time with Georgiana and Elizabeth, receiving lessons from his father about the proper management of the estate, and in the Christmas festivities. He did not spend much time with the other girls, and Lady Catherine did not have a pleased tone to her words when she departed shortly after the new year.

Chapter Five

Though Jane Bennet had imagined that her guilt at having killed her family by lying about how greatly she had missed them would never fade, her sense of deserving unhappiness had mostly dissipated by the time Christmas had passed.

Time is always a great cure.

We humans are not so constituted that an impression can last forever. If the cause is removed the emotions will be pressed against by the many things we face day to day. Even if we remain forever in a new situation, as Elizabeth remained blind forever, we will accustom ourselves to it, and to the difficulties and pains attendant on it. It has even been claimed that those who are crippled and those who receive great sums of money have nearly the same happiness once two years had passed as they had before the great change in their life.

Something that Lizzy said to Fitzwilliam as they talked on the very day of Christmas had struck Jane.

Elizabeth had laughed at the notion that the Almighty could have anything to do with her suffering. It was a thing which had happened, and that she must live with, but it was not a mark either of favor or disfavor from the divine.

It was not precisely that Miss Bennet consciously connected this notion to herself. But still, Jane ceased to habitually think of herself as cursed for her sins. She began to think more kindly about herself. The deep melancholy which she had suffered under, with mixed success at hiding, finished lifting.

Jane’s character was so constituted that as she felt more herself, she immediately looked towards her positive duties. The pastseemed as though all was covered with a veil, and indistinct. She could hardly remember, nor understand, her behavior over the preceding four months.

But Jane now felt a great deal of fresh guilt because she had left Lizzy alone to deal with her grief over the deaths of their family and over her blindness.

Jane was the older sister. She had reached the great age of fourteen and was now nearly an adult. There were girls who came out when they were less than six months older than Jane was. Her monthlies had begun.

Lizzy was still small, young, a child, and she would always be helpless due to her blindness.

It was with great shame that Jane considered this distance that had grown between her and Lizzy.

While Fitzwilliam and George were still at Pemberley for the Christmas holidays, Jane never found an opportunity to speak to Elizabeth privately—George always hung about Jane, begging to collect her drawing supplies, or the novel she wished to read, playing games of cards with her for penny stakes, and laughing about how much he lost, and accompanying her on walks about the park—all greatly flattering.

On the other hand, Lizzy always pestered Fitzwilliam with nonsensical conversations, and she constantly took advantage of the good nature that led the young man to stand under her to catch her if she fell when she insisted on climbing to the lower branches of a tree. On days when the weather was too poor to exit the house, she convinced him to read books to her and Georgiana. And, if Fitzwilliam was absent or otherwise occupied, Lizzy and Georgiana always were together.