Page 13 of Mason: His to Convince

Geesh, you’d think I trashed my car on purpose she thought. Sometimes I could just …

Unconsciously massaging her temple she closed her eyes and didn’t see the worry on his face.

Rebecca was one of the last to finish her exam. As each student left the classroom Mason put their papers into hisbriefcase and returned to the window ledge where he’d taken up residence.

Struggling with the answers until her head actually felt fuzzy, Rebecca finally raised her hand for him to come and get her test. Handing it to him she quietly whispered, “Would you please get my crutch?”

Mason stood looking over her paper but didn’t answer.

“Could you hand me my crutch?” she hissed.

Two more hands went up and Mason still did not make a move toward doing as she asked. Drumming her fingers impatiently on the desk she waited until the last student had turned in their exam in.

“Mason?”

“Hmm”, he mumbled, walking around and absently straightening up chairs, for all intents and purposes ignoring her.

“Mason, do we have a problem here?” The nagging pain that ran from her foot and up her leg was nothing compared to the frustration of not being able to get up and walk out. It galled her to have to sit there and wait until he saw fit to hand her the damn crutch.

“Yes, Rebecca,” he informed her, crossing his arms and leaning against the desk in front of her. “I believe we do, several in fact.”

“Well could we discuss it later? I’m very tired and I need to call Sara for a ride home. Now if you’ll just…”

“No I won’tjust. I think things are quite convenient the way they are.” The expression on his face gave nothing away.

“Although I don’t have you in quite the position I’d like,” he paused as though imagining a very different setting, “this is better than some I could think of.”

“Give me my crutch!”

“Not a chance.”

At this point Rebecca decided that the distance wasn’t so great she couldn’t hop to the door. Standing on one foot, she balanced herself against the desk and started to move away from the chair.

“Sit down, Rebecca,” he growled

“Go to hell, Mace,” she answered sweetly, still trying to control her temper.

In two strides he was in front of her. Unless she could think of a way to go through him she was going nowhere. Her hands weren’t even free to slap him, which was a delightful thought by this point.

Her eyes were level with the third button on his shirt and she could smell his familiar aftershave. While she was mad enough to do him bodily harm, she also longed to lean on his wonderfully strong chest and be comforted. You definitely should have stayed for observation like that doctor wanted you too she told herself, you have some type of mental disorder. He was still standing close enough for her to feel the warmth of his body when he spoke again.

“Rebecca, I have been stirred to every emotion imaginable by you over the last few weeks, and some that I never dreamed of, and while I have always prided myself on being an even tempered man, I find that just the opposite is true with you. Now if you have the sense that God gave an ant, you will sit down in that chair.”

“Okay, Okay,” she told him sitting down and putting some distance between them. The tone of his voice was one she didn’t want to investigate further and his eyes were a stormy blue-gray. There was something about him tonight that was different and she sensed a certain danger. Don’t be ridiculous she told herself, this is Mason, but it wasn’t the Mason she knew. This man was harder, stronger, and more determined. The control he placed on himself was almost a tangible thing and while it frightenedher somewhat, she also had a strange desire to shatter it and explore the mystery underneath.

He sat across from her, his eyes assessing her every feature. They traveled over her so slowly and thoroughly that her face flamed. If he’d physically touched her it couldn’t have been any more intimate. A spiraling heat penetrated her, and breathing became an effort. The power of his gaze made her feel suddenly weak and her mind rebelled against what her body gloried in. When he began to speak it took her a moment to focus on what he was saying.

“You have been a part of my life for a long time. I’ve always thought we were friends, good friends. I know we’ve had our disagreements, and that’s putting it mildly. You have amazed me, infuriated me, caused me countless sleepless nights, and recently given me more pleasure than any man has a right to expect, but you have never hurt me, until now.”

Rebecca felt like a giant hand was squeezing her heart. Hurt him? Of all the people in her life, Mason was the one who least deserved hurting. Her eyes filled with tears as he continued.

“Regardless of our differences the other night, or should I say the other morning, because the night was damned near perfect, I can’t believe you would have a car accident and not call me. How could you drag yourself to class like this, never considering how I would feel seeing you injured? Do you know how many times I’ve called you in the last week? Why didn’t you return them? I don’t know whether you’re trying to convince yourself that I don’t matter or convince me. Rebecca, we made love the other night. You can call it what you like and you can spout your modern attitude all you want, but that won’t change the facts. You belong to me and I won’t be shut out of your life, not without a fight. I want to marry you, not just be your lover.”

Rebecca sat silently, her eyes misty. The last couple of weeks had been tough without him and if the truth were known Masonhad been the only one she’d wanted in the painful hours after her accident. But the word ‘belong’ froze something inside her. Belonging meant permanence and she of all people knew that nothing was permanent. Why couldn’t he just enjoy what they had now? Why tempt fate with empty promises of forever when there was no such thing? No one knew what tomorrow would bring and she preferred not to count on it.

Rebecca didn’t know what to say to make him understand. When her mother died it almost destroyed her father. For weeks he walked around in a daze, unable to function in even the most basic ways. Suddenly, he had become the child and she the parent, grieving alone in her room. Eventually he recovered enough to have a semblance of his former life, but he was never the same man.

At twelve years old she hadn’t been able to understand what happened to her dynamic, fun-loving father, or forgive her mother for leaving them. She did, however, know one thing. She never wanted to love anyone like her father had loved her mother. Never would another human being hold her happiness in their hands. She would make her own happiness and if it included others, so be it. She didn’t believe in ‘happily ever after’ and she refused to delude herself. Her life was living proof that there was no forever, at least not on earth. Why couldn’t he just take one day at a time and be grateful for it? She loved him, she desired him, but she wouldn’t ever need him, at least not in the way he wanted. Slipping a ring on her finger wouldn’t change that.