Page 123 of Through the Storm

The promise he didn’t even realize he was making.

I’m here. Always.

I almost text him. My thumbs hover over my phone.

I miss you.

Please come back.

I made a mistake.

Instead, I lock my phone and set it face down on the nightstand like it’s too dangerous to hold. I push myself upright and walk to the window. Just to breathe and to clear my head. Then I pull the curtain back and freeze.

Ben’s car is still parked across the street.

My heart stutters.

He’s really still here.

He’s sitting behind the wheel, shoulders hunched slightly forward like he’s been there a while. Waiting for me.

My hand starts drifting toward the door and I think to myself, if I went downstairs right now…

If I crossed the street…

If I opened that car door and climbed into his arms…

I press my forehead against the glass.

Because I know exactly what would happen.

I wouldn’t let him leave. And he deserves the chance to.

His brake lights glow red.

My breath catches.

The car slowly pulls away from the curb. And disappears down the street.

I slide down the wall until I’m sitting on the floor, and my hand drifts back to my stomach.

“This is the right thing,” I whisper, even as my heart protests.

Because wanting something doesn’t mean you get to keep it.

Because loving someone doesn’t mean you won’t hurt them.

Because if I had gone outside tonight… I wouldn’t have survived the goodbye.

So instead, I stay where I am. Watching the empty street where his car used to be and telling myself I did the right thing even though every part of me wanted to run downstairs.

Even though every part of me still does.

I can’t even be depressed in peace. My freaking phone won’t stop buzzing.

Maybe Daddies Brigade

Ethan