Page 119 of Through the Storm

I dive for it, my heart jumping stupidly hard?—

Then sinking.

Because it’s not Katy.

The Winters Crew group chat lights up.

Jack

Ben, you okay? Did you eat?

Ella

We ran into Grandma Patty, and she said Katy slept better last night!

Relief and guilt hit at the same time.

Ben

That’s good.

Leo

Hang on. You left him alone? You said he was going with you! Come hang out with me and Mateo.

Ben

Thanks. I really don’t feel like it.

I know she needs space. And time.

That she needs to come back to me on her own. But that doesn’t mean it’s not killing me to stay away.

I picture her in her room with the door closed. Her all alone convincing herself she’s doing the right thing by shutting me out. That thought wrecks me.

I grab my keys without fully deciding to.

Her street looks exactly the same. Normal. Like no one inside that house is breaking.

I park across the street, engine idling, hands gripping the steering wheel. But I don’t get out, and I don’t knock. I just sit there staring at her front door, hoping she’ll magically appear and tell me I can come in.

Of course she doesn’t.

I let my forehead fall against the steering wheel. “I’m trying,” I whisper to no one.

I open our chat one last time. I keep it simple. Honest. No pressure.

Ben

I’m leaving tomorrow.

Ben

I’m outside. But I won’t get out of the car unless you ask me to.

Ben

I just need you to know I’m here. Always.