Page 12 of Fathom

I set it down with the key. I knew she couldn't understand me, but I hoped that her species was intelligent enough to figure it out. I couldn't stay with her. I wasn't going to lock herin. I was the only one on shift at my work, and I couldn't just show up, not after all my Uncle had done for me. Just giving me the job in the first place caused him no end of trouble.

Then I stepped back into the hallway and closed the door behind me.

The idea of just leaving her there made me feel uncomfortable. The urge to just lock her up to keep her safe scraped its nails inside of my heart, a toxic desire that was fueled by my own view of her fragility. But she wasn’t mine, no matter how much my possessive instincts screamed at me that she was.

I couldn't keep her. She wasn't mine.

Those instincts weren’t safe.

FIVE

LEIJA

I rushed to get dressed.

Nothing had holes or tears, and good quality hand-me-downs were a heck of a lot better than being naked and covered in goo. Part of me wanted to just curl into a ball on the floor and sob. The churning anxiety and stress from waking up in a veritable horror movie of a scenario, followed by my mad naked dash and brutal rescue, was threatening to crush me, to smash me down into the ground, to lie there like I was a dead rabbit, waiting for Eun to come back and decide what he was going to do with me.

But that wasn't the part of me that was in charge of survival.

I could deal with my trauma later.

Now I had to do what I had to do, and that meant not waiting around for someone else to figure everything else out for me.

The new clothes fit better, soft, baggy sweatpants, and aloose shirt that hung comfortably on my frame, even as I threw them on. I hated how boring they were, but they were clothes, and if I got a hold of some tools, I could spruce them up. But being fancy wasn't important right now. The bandages on the bottom of my feet were still secure, and I left them there. The sneakers were worn smooth and were so wide at the toes that I felt like I was wearing clown shoes, but they held together as I laced them up. I wiggled my toes in them. My feet didn't hurt, which was strange. With cuts like I had, they should be agony to walk on. I didn't have time to peel off my bandages to check.

I slipped the key and folded papers that Eun had left for me into my pockets, then reached for the jacket. The goo I'd left on it when I wore it last had dried and crumbled from the lining, falling away in gray flakes. The fabric was warm from the room, the scent of it earthy and familiar now, threaded through with something that made my chest ache with the memory of home.

I shrugged it on, the comforting scent surrounding me, easing the edges of anxiety I'd pressed down in my mind, the sleeves brushing past my wrists, and pulled it close around me before stepping out into the hall.

Eun wasn’t in sight.

I used the key to lock the door behind me, then went down the stairs. I paused at the front gate, not closing it behind me as I peered in either direction. There was Eun, halfway down the street. I had a moment, so I pulled out the piece of paper in my pocket and looked at the keypad. The keypad had the same symbols as the ones Eun had written on the piece of paper, but I took the time to double-check them. All of them were on the keypad there, but even so, I practiced typing them in and watching the latch on the held-open gate click open. Reassured, I let it shut behind me and dashed out to the sidewalk.

I saw Eun vanish around a corner down the long block to my left.

I broke into a jog, my steps awkward as I ran on the heels of my feet, keeping my toes lifted so I didn't trip over my oversized alien clown shoes as I chased after him.

I didn’t know what I was doing, only that I didn’t want to be alone. He’d left me there with a key and a code, giving me the option to stay or go. He hadn't trapped me there, but he also hadn't given me any way to ask for help. I could leave, but the thought of wandering this city alone, with no words and no way to tell friend from predator, made my chest tighten as the panic threatened to wake back up and claw its way back into my mind.

He'd saved me. He'd shown me kindness. He’d protected me. Fed me. Given me warmth and space to breathe.

I had no way to tell if the next stranger would do the same… or drag me somewhere dark, hang me up on a hook, and butcher me alive.

I shuddered at the thought, my legs stretching longer.

But Eun, I knew, in some deep, instinctive way that was backed by practical evidence of his direct actions, Eun meant to help me.

At least, I hoped he did. To be sure, I needed to see what he was up to now that he had stashed me in his apartment. Instinct and knowing and observing were all well and good, but I needed more than just a few moments of kindness. I already knew that sometimes people could push aside the truth of a matter just because it was easier to feel safe than it was to question, and I didn't have the luxury of being that person. If I messed up, I could get eaten, like that poor creature that was hung from a hook.

I couldn't just trust; I had to verify.

So I ran after Eun like a penguin in sweatpants, trying to jog on cement.

I rounded the corner and crashed into a familiar wall of muscle.

Eun's hands caught me, stopping me from bouncing off of him and falling to the ground, his tail curling tight around my waist in a gentle hug.

He was there, waiting, as if he’d known I’d follow. His long ears gave a flick as he looked down at me, head tilting slightly as he released my arms to grab his tail and pull it off of me. His hair lifted up from where he had tied it back in a ponytail, as if it could creep up over his shoulder to reach for me. He reached back, pushing his hair behind his shoulder with a frown. His ears flicked back against his skull, then back up again, and then he turned away from me, abruptly walking away.