Page 145 of The Heart Breaker

“I was such a dick to you.”

I lift a brow. “Go on.”

He lets out the faintest huff of laughter, but it’s gone almost immediately.

“I was scared,” he says, holding my gaze. “Of how I felt about you. Of how much I wanted you. I told myself pushing you away was the right thing. That cutting you out was what I had to do to protect my sister.”

I swallow hard.

“I know you don’t owe me anything,” he says, keeping his eyes on mine. “I never say anything right. I get angry, I shut down, and half the time I make things worse instead of better.”

He looks tired, worn down, like he hasn’t slept properly in days—and I know he probably hasn’t.

“I hurt you,” he says. “I know I did. And I’m so fucking sorry for pushing you away when all I wanted was to pull you in and just… fuck. I just wanted you with me.”

My heart jolts, trying to pound out of my chest and crawl toward him.

“But I’m trying now because my sister made me realize I didn’t have to be alone and miserable to protect her. I’m here because I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and I can’t think straight when you’re not around. I’m here because nothing in my life feels right without you in it, and no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I was doing the right thing, losing you felt like losing the only good thing I’ve ever had that was really mine.”

God, this is killing me. My heart squeezes in my chest and I forget how to stay angry. All I wanted was this. Not him on his knees making a fool out of himself—although that’s a nice bonus—but him being honest with me. Him finally saying what was actually going on in his head instead of acting like I meant nothing to him.

I’m so tired of feeling like I mean nothing to people. I wanted to matter to Cole. Wanted to be more than just someone he wanted in his bed.

“Go on a date with me, Prescott,” he says, holding my gaze. “If you want to punch me after, go ahead. Kick me in the balls if you want.”

I arch a brow. “Tempting.”

A little breath leaves him. “If you still hate me after that, I’ll let you go,” he continues, swallowing hard. “It’ll fucking wreck me, but I’ll let you go, because I know I’m the one who did this.” His jaw tightens. “But just… let me try, Aurora. I know I already ruined the part of me you trusted, but if you give me one chance, just one, I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never doubt what you are to me again.” He looks at me like it hurts to breathe. “I don’t know how to be the man you deserve yet. I just know I want to be, and I know I’ve never wanted anything the way I want you.”

I can’t think, can’t breathe. There are too many emotions running through my body all at once. I’m still hurt. Still angry. Still humiliated enough that part of me wants to leave him down there a little longer just to make him suffer. But I also feel relief knowing that I didn’t imagine all of it. That I wasn’t crazy for thinking I meant something to him.

I can feel people around us paying attention, waiting to see what I do, and normally I’d hate that. Right now I’m too locked in on him to care. Too aware of the fact that he got down on his knees in public even though I know he’d rather chew off his own arm than be looked at like this.

I should be furious. Should tell him to go to hell and not even entertain another second of this, but… I want to go on the date we had planned. I want the chance to see what he does. I want, despite every warning bell still clanging around in my head, to believe him.

I glance down at him and lift a finger. “One date,” I say, trying to keep my voice firm even as my heart beats fast. “That’s all you get, and if you hurt me ever again, I’ll make a kick to the balls look merciful.”

His lips pull into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen from him before as he gets to his feet, and when he’s standing in front of me again, he reaches up and brushes a piece of hair back from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

People clap around us, but all I can focus on is Cole as his fingers skim my cheek, just the slightest touch, but it still sends a shiver through me.

“I’d rather cut my chest and rip out my heart than hurt you ever again.”

My breath catches, which is humiliating enough. The fact that he notices makes it worse.

His eyes drift to my parted lips and for a second, I think he’s going to kiss me, but he flicks his eyes back to mine.

“I’ll pick you up on Friday,” he says, his thumb brushing over my cheek. “I’ll text you.” He pauses and tips his head a little. “If you unblock me.”

I hum, because I’m not about to let him think a public apology means he gets off easy. “I don’t know. I was kind of enjoying the money and apology notes.”

That pulls a laugh out of him and it does something to my stomach and heart and just… every single inch of my body.

His smile fades a little as his eyes lock on mine. “I’d give up every damn thing I have if it meant you’d look at me the way you used to for one more second.”

God, what is he doing to me? I have never felt my heart pound this hard.

“Are people staring?” I whisper, because I need to say something. Anything.