Page 136 of The Heart Breaker

She just lifts her brows, a smirk pulling at her lips.

I sigh and shove the last of my stuff into my bag. “Never. The stripper life is not for me.”

“Really?” Cecilia stands and falls into step beside me as we head for the stairs. “That’s funny, because from where I was standing, you looked like you were having a pretty great time.”

Heat crawls up my neck so fast I stop halfway up the stairs. “Oh my God.”

“A lap dance on your first night is bold.”

I turn to look at her, horrified. “You saw that?”

Cecilia laughs as we head for the door. “Honey, everyone saw that.”

I don’t know why that still makes me want to crawl out of my own skin. Maybe because it feels like another lifetime now. Maybe because so much has changed since then that even thinking about that night makes something in my chest twist.

“He didn’t exactly seem like some random client,” she says, and I feel myself tense before I can stop it. “Who was he?”

I adjust the strap of my bag on my shoulder and start walking again because I don’t want to stand here and have this conversation.

“You seem very invested in this.”

“I like gossip.”

I roll my eyes. “Shocking.”

She laughs as we step into the main hall, tucking a piece of dark hair behind her ear when she glances at me.

“Is he the reason you’re not going back?”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I just… thought it would make me feel something, and it didn’t.”

She nods slowly, her mouth pressing into a line. “That makes sense.” But then she shrugs. “The money is really good, though.”

That pulls a laugh out of me. “I’m sure that helps.”

“Oh, it helps a lot.”

I let out another laugh, but it dies the second I look up and see Professor Williams across the hall.

My stomach drops as my fingers tighten around the strap of my bag, because even after talking everything through with my mom the other night, even after saying out loud how badly that conversation destroyed me, I still haven’t figured out how to look at him without feeling my heart shatter.

Growing up, there were times I felt disconnected from my mom over this. I never understood why she shut down everytime I asked about my dad, why she always found some way around it. But when I went home, she finally told me everything. They dated for a couple of months and he acted really supportive when she got pregnant, but then I was born, and suddenly, he didn’t want to be a father. Didn’t want the responsibility. Didn’t want us.

Even now, I still don’t know what to call him in my head.

He’s my father, technically. Biologically. But dad feels wrong for a man who looked me in the eye and made it very clear he wants nothing to do with me.

His eyes lift and catch on mine, and my heart lurches in my chest because apparently some part of me is still hoping he regrets what he said. Still hoping that now that he knows, he’ll change his mind. That he’ll want me.

But then he just turns his head and looks away, and I feel my heart break all over again.

“Hey.” Cecilia’s voice pulls me back and I blink hard, dragging myself out of it. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I say, my voice cracking. I clear my throat and try again. “I just thought I forgot something.”

She watches me for a second too long, and I know she can tell that’s not true, but whatever she sees on my face must be enough to make her leave it alone.

“I’m gonna head home, but I’ll see you in class tomorrow?”