Page 132 of The Heart Breaker

Fuck.

I didn’t go grocery shopping this week, and after she showed up last night, I wasn’t about to let her out of my sight, not even to go to the store.

I take a step back before Coach can say anything else. “I gotta go.”

Coach’s hand drops from my shoulder, but I’m already turning away, shoving my phone into my pocket and pushing through the exit.

The couch is killing my back, but there was no way in hell I was letting Sophie sleep here, so she got the bed.

I’ve got one arm jammed under my head, staring at the ceiling, one foot hanging off the end because the thing’s too short for me. A busted spring keeps digging into my back, my neck’s stiff as hell, and I haven’t slept properly in two days, but as long as Sophie’s getting a decent night’s sleep, I can deal with it.

Problem is, I’m too wired to sleep anyway.

Every time I shut my eyes, my head starts up again. Sophie. Aurora. Sophie. Aurora. The same shit on a loop.

I know I did the right thing.

I know I did.

Doesn’t stop it from feeling wrong.

Doesn’t stop me from seeing her face every time I close my eyes, or hearing the crack in her voice, or thinking about the way she looked at me like I’d just gutted her.

It feels like since the moment she stepped out of my apartment, my heart and soul went along with her and I’ve just been empty since.

I drag a hand over my face and stare into the dark.

Fuck, I want a cigarette.

I crushed the pack while Sophie was in the shower and dumped it in the trash before she could see it. She’s got enough shit on her mind without worrying about me too.

I roll onto my side and grab my phone off the floor, the screen lighting up the room. I scroll for a while, hoping I’ll eventually get tired enough to pass out.

Instead, I end up on Aurora’s page.

I click the next story, and then the next, and then the next, every one of them another clip of her looking like she’s having the time of her life. Her long blonde hair falling down her back while she dances and laughs, those lips I can still taste curved into a smile that makes something in my chest hurt, those sharp blue eyes I haven’t seen up close in too long.

I watch them over and over, my stomach dropping a little more every time.

Part of me is glad she’s happy. But there’s another part of me—the selfish part—that thought it would take her longer than this to move on. I sure as hell haven’t. I don’t think I ever will.

There is no getting over Aurora.

She’s it for me. The only woman I could ever fall for, and if I can’t have her, then I don’t want anyone.

I know with complete certainty that I’m never going to feel this way about anyone else.

I keep trying to remind myself I did the right thing. Sophie comes first. She has to. She’s my responsibility, and I can’t afford distractions. I can’t afford to need someone the way I was starting to need Aurora.

But fuck, I miss her.

I miss her voice. Miss seeing her in my clothes, in my bed. Miss the way she could get me to say shit I would never say, do shit I would never do for anyone but her. I miss her eyes. Her mouth. That sharp tongue.

I miss her so much it actually makes me angry.

It would be easier if I could just hate her and be done with it.

I squeeze my eyes shut and toss my phone toward the other end of the couch, but it slips off the cushion and hits the floor hard enough that Sophie jerks awake with a gasp.