Page 130 of The Heart Breaker

The puck ricochets off my stick and skids wide.

The whistle blows again, and Coach lifts his hands. “Ellis, what the hell is wrong with you today?”

I don’t answer. I don’t have the energy.

Logan skates over while we reset the cones, his brows pulling together. “You good? You’ve been off all practice.”

I grind my teeth. “Fine. Just tired.”

Austin drifts up on Logan’s other side and knocks his shoulder into mine. “Aw. Poor guy.” Before I can move, he slings an arm around me. “Need me to tuck you in after practice? Read you a bedtime story?”

I shove him off me. “Touch me again and I’ll put you to sleep myself.”

Austin grins at Logan. “See? He’s fine.”

He skates away, and Logan lingers beside me for a second, his gaze sliding back to mine. “Anything I can do?” he asks.

“No.” This isn’t something he can help with. Nobody can. This is my mess and I need to figure out how to deal with it.

He nods and looks back out over the ice. “I never thanked you.”

That pulls my attention to him. “For what?”

“For keeping quiet about me and Nathan.”

I shrug and keep my eyes forward. “Wasn’t my business.”

“Still,” he says. “I appreciated it.” He shifts his stick in his hands. “That’s why I kept quiet about you and Aurora.”

My whole body goes tight at the sound of her name.

Logan glances at me. “But then you kissed her in front of everybody, so I figured you were together. Officially.”

I don’t say anything. Can’t. My grip on my stick shifts instead, my jaw locking as the memory comes back anyway, the parking lot outside the station, the look on her face right before I kissed her, the way everything in me had eased the second I pulled her in. For a little while, standing there with her, I’d actually let myself forget everything else. I was so goddamn happy.

But then Sophie flashes through my head and the guilt comes roaring back twice as hard. I stare straight ahead, my throat tight.

“You figured wrong.”

I skate away when Coach blows the whistle, but my head won’t shut up for the rest of practice.

I’m doing a shit job of this. That thought has been clawing at me all morning—since Sophie stepped foot in my place, actually. I wanted her out of that house years ago. Wanted custody. Wanted to give her a good life, but now she’s finally with me, and I don’t know what I’m doing.

Who the hell was I kidding? I can’t take care of a sixteen-year-old. I can barely keep my own shit together half the time. She deserves better. She deserves someone who actually knows what they’re doing, someone who can give her everything she needs without screwing it up.

By the time Coach finally calls it, I’m more than ready to get the hell out of there. I rip off my helmet and head straight for thelocker room, because the only thing in my head is Sophie back at the apartment by herself, waiting for me to get home.

I shower quickly, get dressed fast too, stuff everything into my bag, and head for the door.

I only make it a few steps into the hall before Coach’s voice stops me.

“Ellis.”

I stop and look back. His eyes narrow the second mine meet his, taking in my face, probably the lack of sleep written all over it too.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Fine.” I hitch my bag higher on my shoulder. “Just need to get going.”