Page 130 of The Risk Taker

Austin leans over and elbows me in my side. “Psst. You want me to play wingman?”

I shake my head, turning back around. “I’m good.”

Austin shrugs, but I can feel Maisie’s eyes flick toward me, just for a second, before she averts her gaze.

I let out a sigh and take another sip of my drink, wanting to forget what it felt like to actually have him, even just for a little while, and how empty I feel now that I don’t.

I keep telling myself that I’ll wait until I get home. That I’ll think of something to say, maybe test the water, see if he’s even willing to look at me, let alone talk about everything that’s been hanging between us since that night in my room. And if he does, then I’ll tell him I love him, and I’ll wait as long as he needs, and I’m not going anywhere.

But I’m not patient. Not when every single part of me is restless, waiting for him to walk through the door even though I know he won’t.

But the longer I sit here, the less sense it makes. What the hell am I waiting for? Every inch of me is burning for him, and I can’t take it any longer. I just want to tell him. I just want him to know.

I want to tell him I miss him, and that it’s never going to go away. That he can take his time, keep me a secret, keep everything slow and complicated and messy. Whatever he needs, I’ll do it.

I can’t wait anymore. I don’t care if it’s reckless or desperate or too much too soon. I don’t care if he tells me he needs more time. I just want him to know that he’s it for me. That I’d wait forever if that’s what it takes.

I down the rest of my drink, set the glass down, and push myself up from the booth.

Ryan glances up at me, his brows knitting together. “Leaving already?”

I shrug. “Nothing to celebrate here. Besides, I’m dying for a pizza.”

He lets out a laugh, and I grab my jacket, shove my arms through the sleeves, and make my way toward the door.

The cold slaps me in the face when I push the door open, my breath clouding the air as I shove my hands deep in my pockets.

Someone bumps my shoulder as a group of guys follow me out of the bar, and I lift my head, but my heart just slams to a stop.

Standing under a dim lamppost, with his jacket zipped up and his hands in his pockets, staring straight at me, is Nathan Hayes.

For a second, I honestly think I’m imagining it. Just some trick my brain’s playing because I want it too badly. But then his eyes lock on mine, my heart goes fucking crazy, and I know it’s not my imagination.

“Nathan?” I ask, shaking my head. “What are you?—”

I don’t even manage to get the rest out, because he moves toward me in three strides, grabs my jacket collar, his breath fogging between us as he exhales hard, and then he kisses me.

My heart slams into my ribs, every muscle locked tight and every thought wiped clean.What the hell is happening?

But then the shock melts into heat, relief flooding my body until it almost knocks me over. Because he’s kissing me like he’s been starved for it. This is him choosing me with his whole chest, right here, out in the open where anyone can see.

When he finally pulls back, his breath stutters against my mouth, his forehead hovering an inch from mine.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he breathes, shaking his head. “Any of it. I’ve spent so long keeping everything locked down, and then you—” He stops, shakes his head, and looks away for half a second. “You’re… loud. And reckless. And impossible to ignore.”

A grin tugs at my mouth. “Thanks? I think? Kind of sounds like a compliment and an insult all at once.”

He chuckles, dropping his forehead to mine. His breath mixes with mine, warm in the cold air. “You make it hard to breathe sometimes. And I hated you for it at first. But then…”His throat moves when he swallows. “Then I realized I didn’t hate it at all. I needed it. I needed you.”

My chest squeezes so tight I almost lean into him just to stay upright. I grip his hips to steady myself, to steadyhim, because it feels like this little bubble we’re in might burst if either of us moves wrong.

“You could’ve told me that before you broke my heart,” I say, trying to lighten the mood, but my voice cracks slightly when I say it.

His eyes snap up to mine, wide with guilt. “I’m so sorry. I was a coward.” He swallows. “I thought pushing you away was easier than admitting how much I…” He sucks in a breath. “How much I love you.”

For a second, I just stand there like an idiot, staring at him, because I’ve imagined saying those words tohima hundred times, but I never once imagined him saying them to me.

“Say it again,” I whisper, because I need to hear it, need to be sure.