Page 69 of Dollhouse

I heard you, I just need you to know that. I know you love me, and that it’s more.

It’s the same for me. Even with me leaving, it’s still so fucking true.

The sun can’t rise until the night is gone, yeah?

Well, I’m leaving and I’m taking all that darkness with me. Not because I don’t love you, but because I need you to rise again, and I will only make that impossible.

You’ve always been my sunshine, Em, ever since I first met you. Promise me you’ll keep trying to rise, baby. Don’t let what they did to us keep you from fucking shining.

I’ll be in touch, take care of them for me. I know they’ll take care of you.

Love you.

Bo x

Fuck.Fuck, goddamnit.

I’m frozen, the note quaking in my hands, because he’sgone. This protective thing inside me is freaking out because I’ve seen this story before. If something happens to him—if he does something to himself—Jesse and Emma will be broken.

Me too. The little shit wormed his way into that space Emma created in my chest, demanding my attention, my protection. Myaffection.

He’s part of us, and that means something. It means he can’t just fucking take off and try to spare us the pain he’s drowning in.

“Noah?”

Her small voice calls from down the stairs and I hesitate for only a moment before following it. There’s no point in hiding this from them.

Jesse slams the front door, stalking back inside with the frenzied fear painted across his face. The noise makes Emma jump, her eyes cutting back and forth between the tension in our bodies.

“What’s going on?” She searches the room, but doesn't find who she’s looking for. Her security blanket, the only personshe feels like can understand where her head is at right now. “Where’s Bo?”

“Good question,” Jesse growls, his shortness making her flinch. My jaw clenches, knowing I’m about to derail both of them with this fucking note.

Bo, the punishment when I get my hands on you.

I hold the paper out to Emma, crinkled and torn from whichever of her notebooks he stole it from. The warped spots showing us where his few tears had hit the pages. He is so broken right now.

Her brow crinkles, confusion knitting them together as she starts to read, Jesse hulking over her shoulder.

When Emma’s hands start shaking, I step forward as if anything I do or say could fix this, but Jesse beats me to it. His arm curls around her midsection, pulling her back to his chest, his head resting on hers. Both stare at the letter much longer than it takes them to read it, just breathing.

“I have to go find him,” Jesse starts, finally looking back up at me. “I have to go find him before he does something stupid.”

“He’s already done something stupid,” I bite, torn between my frustration with him and my fear of what comes next. “We don’t have any idea where he is.”

“He must not want to be here,” Em says, sniffing and wiping her nose on her sleeve. “He doesn’t want us to find him.”

Betrayal burns in Jesse’s eyes at her words, said almost callously. Mostun-Emma-like. “Yeah, but he’s not in his right mind. He needs us.”

“He must not,” she spits, stumbling out of her makeshift bed so that it separates her from us. “Bundy’s not looking for us anymore. Maybe it’s time to put an end to this now.”

Eyes narrow, I watch her stuff her pain as much as she can. She’s got a shit poker face. “What exactly do you mean by that,Angel?” She hears the warning in my name for her. To tread lightly before she says something that she can’t take back.

She does it anyway though, because underneath it all, Emma has a steel that she refuses to acknowledge. It’s what got her through everything and why she’s still standing here now after what they’ve done to her.

Sniffing, she looks me dead in the eyes and tries to cut me as deep as she can. “This. This impossiblerelationshipor whatever it is.” Waving her hand between the three of us callously, like this isnothing. “We don’t need your protection anymore and playing captor can’t be fun for you now that we’re more broken than anything.”

Her shrug pisses me off and Jesse cuts her off. “Emma, watch your fucking mouth. You know that’s not what this is.”