Page 109 of Blue in the Deep Blue Sea

I looked into her tear filled eyes, and it shattered me knowing I was about to become another person she would lose. But I would rather lose myself than lose her too.

“No,” she whispered, then cried louder, “no.”

“You have to,” I whispered, another tear falling. “Wherever you go, I will always love you.”

She took a step back, her fingers slipping from mine.

“No… no… no,” she sobbed.

Then she rushed back into my arms.

“I’m not leaving you. If I do… who will I live for?”

I pushed her away.

“For me,” I said. “Please, go. I’ll be okay. I promise.”

I lied.

“Go!” I shouted.

She limped away, tears streaming down her face. Every few steps she looked back, fighting herself with every step that carried her further from me. But I knew their focus would be on me now.

So I turned to face them as they closed in from every direction.

She was gone.

She was safe.

My Bluewas safe.

BLUE

I ran towards the pine woods, reaching the small patch on the right where a handful of pine trees stood. I leaned against the rough bark, trying to hold myself together, my arms wrapping around my body. Then I looked down at my hand. Oliver’s blood stained my palm.

My heart sank even lower.

It shattered into thousands of pieces as he begged me to leave. And for the first time in my life, I left someone.

Fuck. Why did it have to be him?

Sobs broke from my lips as I sank to the ground. Then two gunshots sounded behind me. A cry escaped me, my palms flying to my mouth as I fought to stop myself from screaming.

Why did it have to be him?

Out of everyone I had loved and lost, losing him hurt the most. I know he saved me. I know he had to do it because he wanted me safe. But he doesn’t know there isn’t a single place in this world safer than his hands. And now I’ll never be safe again.

I pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face against them as the tears kept coming. My whole body shook. The worst part was that I couldn’t even scream for him. They would hear me, and everything he had done would have been for nothing.

No one prepares you for this kind of hurt. Or for this kind of love. No one prepares you for finally finding your favorite person, only to lose them the next second. You know it’s for your safety, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. You’d think you’d get used to losing people, but when you spend your whole life waiting for the one who brought the stars back to your eyes, andthen they’re gone in a heartbeat, every hope you had dies with them.

And I broke my promise.

I looked back.

And another nightmare came true.

They put his body into a chest and dragged it towards the cliffs before shoving it into the deep, dark sea.