Page 61 of The Fate of Black Hearts

“The Mage Conclave locked you up and prevents you from…what? You can’t have sex because of what some witch foretold?” She bit her lip and craned around to see his face. “You do know you can have sex without having a baby.”

He cracked a small smile. “I might be aware of that.”

“They fear you’re so potent that one time and, presto, you’ll have a baby?”

“A baby for my kind is the product of something profound. The Conclave wants to prevent me finding anything meaningful.”

“What would you label us, then?”

He chuckled, dark and low. “Something forbidden that they suspect but could never understand. If they catch on, they’d kill both of us to prevent whatever might come next.”

“This isn’t love, right? So you have nothing to fear.” She turned around. “You turned so white over the L-word…”

He didn’t jump to reply but maintained unwavering eye contact. “Why haven’t you taken a lover since you left Willem? Your kind is too sensual to do without.”

She dropped her head.

“You want to be touched and loved. So why do you torture yourself?” he asked.

She couldn’t look at him if she admitted this. “The truth…”

“What’s wrong?”

She took a shaky breath. “I associate sex with shame. Willem only got off when he could humiliate me in some way. Often verbal. Sometimes physical. He liked to see me bleed but not heal like I should, then point out my failure like I was a reject.” She added on a harsh whisper, “There was never pleasure.”

Dom’s nostrils flared. His eyes turned coppery as if he could shoot fire from them.

She kept talking, knowing if she didn’t, she’d lose momentum. “He attacked everything in my life. It was vicious and purposeful to keep me controlled. My strength was contained by that spell but he imprisoned my confidence. When I saw him hurting the kids, I was more ashamed. I failed as their mother during that time. He damaged Roman’s and Ky’s mental health. I didn’t believe I could stand up to him or escape. Efrem was a mess, but at least he was thinking ahead. He had been prepared to kidnap the boys and me if we hadn’t gotten free that night.”

Dom pulled her into a hug. For the first time, he held her and didn’t let go. “Every one of those boys would walk through hellfire for you, including Efrem. Roman was more messed up today about how you’d handle Jonas being gone than how he felt.”

“It’s hard, sometimes. To be their rock.” She squeezed him back and let go. “You’re the only person who is strong enough that you don’t need meto be everything for you all the time.” She chuckled to herself. “But you need me too. I’m okay with that.”

“Why do you not take a lover, then? You could’ve tested the waters.”

“I can’t stand to be touched by anyone in an intimate way.” She met his gaze. “Except you. Perhaps it’s because you deny me at every turn. Then you kept storming into my life. You needed me to get over myself. You needed me to touch you to show you you’re not alone. Now I want everything, but only with you.” She leaned in to rest her cheek against his hard chest and wrap her hands around him. “I want my sexuality back. I need to do this to heal. This isn’t about sex.” She rocked her head. “Okay, a lot of it is. I need you to charge through your stupid rules for me. Just this once. I don’t want you to go easy because someone hurt me in the past. I want to know what it is like to be with someone who doesn’t intend to take from me or hurt me, but who’s as lost in it as I am.”

Dom swallowed but said nothing.

She stepped away, shook her head, and gazed at her toes. He wasn’t going to do it. Him and his stupid rules about the danger of taking this step. He’d invited her here for tea and talk. Her world had fallen apart. The grief from losing Jonas slid through her.

She turned away from him and marched to the door, intent on escape even if she had to take a train back to her home. She was done begging him to want her enough to give in to desire. She needed time to heal her heart from the loss of Jonas.

“Evie,” he growled.

She ignored him to yank open the front door.Spitting rain coated her face, but she couldn’t tell if the wetness was from that or tears. Before she took a step out of the house, he spun her and pinned her against the wall next to the door. He kicked the door closed. The smack of her back against the wall pounded between her ears. She was ready to claw and kick away from his stupidly gorgeous face when he dropped his face to rest it in her neck.

“Damn it, Evie.”

“If it’s so painful for you to even think of fucking me, leave me alone. Get the hell out of my life.”

“No.” He placed a kiss on her neck. Then he dropped his pants and yanked a cilice off his thigh.

“Why was that on your leg?—”

He slid her panties down her long, slim legs and off before he lifted her. His huge hand spanned halfway around her waist, and she positioned her legs on either side of his pelvis. His dick sprang between them, poised at her entrance.

He bracketed her jaw to force eye contact. “I’ve done many things to stop feeling this. None of them worked.”