Page 52 of Rough

“Is he mad that I know?” Audrey asked. She was so fucking smart.

I wanted to roll my eyes, to growl, but I didn’t. Her scent, the way her hair was all tangled and wild from our swim, then fucking, eased my frustrations. Just being with her, cocooned in the cab of my truck together, made me feel better. My wolf settled. “Yeah, but I can deal with it.”

“What will you do?” She stared at me with those pale eyes, then pushed her glasses up.

The memories of the car crash kept flooding my mind. The crush of the metal car all around, forcing me to the floorboards. The silence from the front seat. How I’d worked my fingers bloody trying to get out, then I’d painfully shifted for the first time and been able to paw my way through the smashed window. With four animal legs, I’d been easily able to work my way up the embankment, but I’d had no idea how to shift back. I’d waited there, staring at the crushed truck for what felt like hours before someone drove by and called the fire department for help. They had to use the jaws of life to cut them out, and they’d been dead.

Fuck! Why am I remembering all this now?

Because the feeling was the same. The shame. Not feeling worthy of standing beside my golden boy brothers.

“Boyd?” Audrey prompted.

Fuck. Had she asked me a question? Right. What was I going to do?

Because I couldn’t think, because my brain was too fuzzy at the moment and the weight on my chest too heavy, I said, “I don’t know. This isn’t on you, darlin’.”

Later, I would wish I’d said a million other things. Explained that she was my mate, and I would fight to keep her no matter what. Even if it meant being at odds with my family and my pack.

But I was out of steam in the moment. I’d defaulted to fuck-up mode.

I just needed to get my head on straight and get things figured out.

I pulled up in front of Audrey’s place and climbed out, walking around to open the door for her.

“You okay?” She took my offered hand and peered up at me as I walked her to the door. My sweet doctor was concerned about me. “You sure you don’t want to stay?” she asked.

I sucked in a breath as my dick punched against my jeans. “Fuck, do I.” I forced a smile. “You need to sleep, and I need to deal with things at the ranch. I’ll call you, okay?”

“Um, yeah. Okay.” She kept her gaze on my face, a wrinkle of worry between her brows. I bent over and gave her a quick kiss.

“Good night, darlin’. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

She nodded, her smile wistful as she backed through her front door. “All right, sounds good.”

Before she shut the door, I said, “Gotta let that pretty pussy rest. I’ve got plans for it tomorrow.”

She bit her lip, and her gaze dropped to my crotch. “Good night,” she whispered.

Fuck me.

I got in my truck, even though my wolf was practically snarling at me to stay, to sleep with her. Hold her all night. I couldn’t. I had things to figure out. Instead of heading straight home to deal with shit, I found myself driving up to the mountains, to a pullout where I liked to go when I needed to run. I stripped out of my clothes and shifted, bolting through the evergreens.

Praying my wolf would help me cast off the fog of uncertainty that had settled over me and Audrey and the future I’d been planning with her.

22

AUDREY

I steppedout of my house and locked the door. I hadn’t been able to sleep much last night, reliving everything that had happened on our date. The wild sex at his truck, the waterfall, the wolf, then finding out it was a kid. That Boyd was also a wolf. I’d seen the kid shift from a wolf into human form. I’d seen Boyd’s bull riding injury, then saw it gone, as if it had never happened. It was unexplainable, yet it made sense.

I wasn’t freaked. I should be. A boyfriend who was a part wolf? Insane.

But it felt real. It felt… right.

I’d tossed and turned mostly because I worried about Boyd. I didn’t know what exactly passed between him and his brother, but I did know it was about me. I saw Rob staring through the windshield at me, frowning and laying down the law about something to Boyd and James. It was obvious he was the pack’s alpha. It made complete sense why he was such a hardass. He was the leader of a group who had to remain secret. One slip-up, and they could be destroyed or killed.

It was forbidden for Boyd to tell me. I understood that.