Page 54 of All In

“Not because of you either,” he corrected quickly. “And not because I didn’t want it.”

Her breath caught. He leaned forward again, forearms resting on his knees now, voice stripped of all professional and clinical polish. “It shouldn’t have happened because I was still Max’s primary clinician.” Jackie blinked but remained silent. “I crossed a line with you. A serious one. And the minute you got into my car that night, I knew exactly what I was doing. That’s on me Jackie. Not you.” Jackie didn’t speak, didn’t know how. “I couldn’t keep working with your son the same way,” he continued, voice roughening at the edges, “at least, not if I wanted to pursue anything beyond professionalism with you.” Her lips parted. But nothing came out. “So yes,” he said, “I fell back. On purpose. To clean up the conflict of interest and make sure nothing compromised Max’s care. I also didn’t want to compromise you any further.” Jackie’s heart kicked hard against her ribs. “I didn’t switch his therapist because I was done with him,” Najee added. “I brought in Dr. Ish because he’s better suited for Max. He’s trained differently. Meets more of his needs and he’s lighter and has a fresh set of uncompromised eyes.”

“I’m still supervising the case.” Jackie swallowed thickly before finally finding her voice.

“You could’ve told me,” she whispered. His eyes softened, not out of pity, or condescension. Just something painfully human. “I planned to,” he said. “At our breakout session.

The one you missed.” Guilt washed over her. “And when I got pulled into the house situation,” he continued quietly, “I didn’t want to explain something that serious over text. You deserved to hear it face-to-face.” The Silence that sat between them felt different now. Less hostile and more honest. Jackie sank back into the couch, bouquet shifting beside her, chest rising too fast. “So all this distance.”

she murmured, “And all that cold energy—”

“Was me trying to be ethical,” Najee finished. “Not indifferent.” She stared at him.

“But you acted like I didn’t exist.” He exhaled slowly. “I fucked up Jackie. But I knew, I if I let myself talk to you the way I wanted to… that line wouldn’t have just blurred.” His voice dropped, steady and direct. “It would’ve disappeared.” Her breath caught painfully in her throat.

Najee leaned back, hands clasped between his knees, eyes on her.

I thought distance would help me re-center,” he admitted. “Remind myself of the boundaries I’m responsible for maintaining. Of the position I hold in your son’s life.”

“Did it?” she asked quietly. He looked at her, wounded honesty in his gaze.

“No,” he said. “It made it worse.” Her throat burned. “So what you’re saying is,” she whispered, “you ghosted me for professionalism?” He flinched. But she caught it.

“I didn’t ghost you,” he said softly.

“I withdrew because I didn’t trust myself not to cross another line.”

“And you couldn’t just say that?”

“I didn’t know how.” She scoffed.

“You’re a whole ass psychiatrist.”

“That doesn’t make me perfect.”

“It makes you trained, though.”

Najee leaned forward again, elbows on his knees, hands clasped tight.

“Jackie,” he said, voice raw now, “you terrify me.” Her spine straightened. “What?”

“You terrify me,” he repeated. “The way you move. The way you feel. The way you soften when you don’t mean to. I’ve spent years controlling my emotions, my impulses, and my narrative.”

His eyes locked onto hers. “You take that control from me.” Her breath stuttered.

“And that night?” he continued. “That wasn’t light to me. It wasn’t casual either . And I realized if I stayed near you, if I kept seeing you every day. Something was going to happen that I couldn’t take back.” Her heart plummeted. “So, you ran,” she whispered. “Yes.”

“And now?” His gaze dropped to the bouquet she still held like armor.

“Now,” he said slowly, “I’m done running.” The words landed soft and bruising.

“What does that even mean?” she asked.

“It means I’m going to figure out how to be in your life without compromising your son’s care.”

“And if you can’t?”

“Then I’ll remove myself from his case completely.” Jackie’s heart skipped.