Page 133 of Discretion at Its Finest
Finally, she let out a breath.“I can’t believe you’re alive.”That was a bit of an understatement given I was suffocating this entire conversation, holding my breath, afraid of what she’d say.“You know…”she murmured,“I’m sure Eugene would want to hear from you.”
I ran a hand through my hair.
Eugene.
My baby boy. My little Lovebug.
Guilt chewed at my throat as I shook my head. “Brielle…”
“I’m not saying right now,”she cut in quickly.“I just mean… I’m sure he’s always wondered. Even when he didn’t talk about it or want to admit it. I’m sure he’s thought about you for a long time.”
My chest tightened. It was probably too long for any little boy to go through.
“How is he?” I asked gently.
Her voice softened.“He’s… better than he used to be,”she said.“But he’s still… Eugene.”
A laugh trembled out of me. “Stubborn?” I guessed.
“Painfully.”
I smiled gently. “…I’d like to hear more about him,” I whispered. “If… if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind,”she said immediately.“I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
And I listened.
I listened like a starving woman being fed, storing away every detail of the years I missed, the milestones I abandoned, the son I left behind: His nightmares. His disappearance. His trauma. His temper. His protectiveness. His loneliness. His loyalty.
His love for her.
The decades I lost spilled through her voice, piece by piece, until I felt the shape of him again: my son, somewhere in this world, alive and hurting.
“Do you remember your years with him?“ she asked.
“I do… but it’s been so long. I’m—I’m forgetting him.”
“You don’t have to,”she said gently.“You can reach out to him too.”
“Honey… I can’t. I…”
“Mom.”The words left her mouth like they were natural, like anything about this situation was natural.“You can.”
All rational thought left my mind. I didn’t even think of what Reid would say when he found out. That was if he didn’t already know. “What if he hates me? I left you both… I—I left him. I don’t know if I have it in me to face him.”
“But you should at least try. If you can’t forgive yourself for leaving… at least forgive yourself for coming back… for trying?”
I didn’t know how to respond. Didn’t know if I was strong enough to reach out to him, or if it was my place to. I didn’t knowif I even could. But when I finished the call with my daughter and watched the screen light up with his number that she’d sent… I knew I had to at least try.
Just once, even if I would never try again.
Chapter fifty
Eugene
My phone buzzed somewhere across the room. I ignored it. Then, it buzzed again. By the time the third notification shook the table, I already knew who it was.
Brielle.
