Page 80 of Monster Queen Rising

I look at him.

"I wasn't there for it, Jen. I know the year happened. I have pieces." He steadies Gabi when she nearly pitches herself off his knee again. "Mostly I remember what things smelled like. That's what's left when nobody's home to make memories."

"Fen..."

"It's all right."

"It isn't."

He thinks about it.

"No," he says quietly. "It isn't."

I put my hand on the back of his neck.

He leans into it about a quarter of an inch, which for Fen is practically collapsing.

"I've got the same blank spot," I say. "Mine's just fear. I couldn't tell you one thing about last March except that I was afraid. Everything else is gone."

"Then we both lost a year."

"Yeah."

Gabi catches his thumb and immediately decides it belongs in her mouth.

"I'm going to remember this one," he says.

"This year?"

"This day."

He watches Gabi work determinedly on his thumb.

"The trees. The music. Her teeth." His eyes lift to mine. "Your face."

"My face?"

"The way you're looking at me."

I smile.

"Oh, Fen."

"What?"

"You're turning into a romantic."

I laugh.

"What do you want this year?" I ask.

"Normal."

I glance at Gabi, who has now discovered his sleeve is also edible.

"You've met your daughter, right?"

He looks down at her, then back at me.

"No."

"What?"

"I've metourdaughter."

He smiles.

Then he laughs, and I hold onto the sound.