Page 118 of Joker

Pretending there’s still some version of this where I keep my distance emotionally. Pretending I haven’t already crossed about twelve internal lines I swore I wouldn’t. Pretending I’m still just helping out until Grinder figures his shit out and Raven and Lexi move on to wherever they’re supposed to go next.

That’s the lie. And I know it the second Blaze says it out loud. Because the truth is, I don’t want them to go anywhere.

Not now. Not after her in my truck and her in my bed and her in my kitchen and her laugh in the morning like it belongs in this place now. Not after the kid started looking for me first when she wants something opened or fixed or carried.

Not after any of it.

Shadow must see the exact moment it clicks in my face, because his expression shifts slightly. Less amused. More serious. “You in?” he asks quietly.

It’s a simple question. But around here, it means a lot more than the words.

You in means:

Are you claiming this?

Are you standing on it?

Are you ready to make that everybody’s problem if it needs to be?

I look back toward Raven.

She’s standing now, one hand on Lexi’s shoulder while the kid talks animatedly to Amy. Her hair’s lifting in the breeze, dark and soft against her back. She glances up like she can feel me looking and our eyes meet across the lot.

And there it is again.

That unguarded look. Just for a second. Then her mouth curves.

Small. Private. For me.

That’s it. That’s all it takes. I’m done pretending.

“Yeah,” I say.

Shadow goes still.

Blaze lowers his coffee a little.

Neither of them expected me to answer that easily.

I didn’t either. But now that it’s out, it sits right.

Solid. True.

“Yeah,” I repeat, rougher this time. “I’m in.”

Blaze lets out a low whistle. “Well, shit.”

Shadow studies me for another second, then nods once like he understands exactly what I’m saying without me needing to spell it out. Because he does.

He grew up with me. He knows what it means when I stop hedging. He knows I don’t do halfway. And if I’m saying it now, it means it’s already done.

“Logan know?” he asks.

“Not yet.”

Blaze grins again, all too pleased with himself. “Oh, this I wanna see.”

I flick my cigarette into the gravel and start walking toward the clubhouse. They follow immediately, because of course they do.